"family friends" - timothèe chalamet

part 4

Me and Timmy are in a good place now, and I'm so glad. I missed him.

12AM

*phone rings*

Jesus christ who's phoning me at this time...
I pick up the phone,

"Hey Clauds" I hear a voice mumble over my phone.
"Who is this?" I ask nervously.
"It's Adam babe" The person on the other side of the phone answers.

Adam, shit.
Why the fuck is he calling me?
My ex.

"What do you want, Adam?"
I sit up uneasily.
"You know what I want, I want you, your body-"

"Adam stop we broke up months ago" I interrupt.

Me and Adam have had a long history, but it's over now. We broke up, well I broke up with him, he was cheating on me.

"Doesn't matter, I still love you I fucking love you" he slurs.
I can tell he's drunk, he does this to me often, he pretends we're still together, he pretends nothing ever happened with us. I hate him.

"You know what you have to stop this. we are not together anymore, you don't fucking love me Adam you never have" I spit at him, I get so mad I'm afraid someone may have heard me.

My chin begins to quiver and my eyes begin to water. Adam hurt me. What's his problem?

"Oh no baby of course I love you. You know I didn't mean to cheat on you baby it was an accident, maybe if you weren't so fat-" He tries explaining to me.

Fuck you Adam.

"What the fuck is your problem Adam" I start to cry.

Why is he doing this to me.

"But you know you lost so much weight you're so fucking sexy right now, where are you baby I wanna-"
And before he can take it any further I end the call.
What an absolute cow.

He thinks I'll take him back over anything. He thinks he has all this control over me. He thinks he can get whatever the fuck he wants.

Holy shit.
I'm shaking uncontrollably now and I can't take it any longer so I run to the on suit bathroom.

I turn the light on,
and I stare at myself in the mirror crying my eyes out, trying not to hurt myself, fighting the urges.

After me and Adam broke up my heart was broken.
I felt like shit.
And I had an ED for a while.

No one really knew about it until my brother noticed me hiding my food, he promised not to tell anyone. I trust Sam.

It was a lot of pressure on him keeping that secret from Mum... But I got over it, I'm okay now, I'm healthier and I eat a lot more. It took a lot, realising he didn't control me. Realising I could be my own person.

Adam just made me feel like I wasn't worth anything, like as if my body and the way I looked meant everything.

He made me feel like shit.

I'm still staring at myself in the mirror, I don't know what to do.

I slap myself once

"Your so fucking ugly"

I slap myself again

"Stop eating so much junk, it might make you look better"

And again

"I wish I was with someone without so much fucking fat"

Slap

"Don't tell mum, please Sammy, I'm begging you"

I hit my head on the mirror and stay there for a while, sobbing, unaware of my surroundings. The harsh bathroom lighting hurts my head. Why do I do this to myself, fucking hell, he destroyed me.

"Claudia..."

Timmy's voice mutters from the bathroom door.
I look over to him with my hands leaning on the sink, my eyes puffy from the tears and my cheeks red from me slapping myself.

I whisper "I-" unable to get my words out.

"Claudia are, are you okay?" Timothèe asks me.
I don't want him to know, he doesn't need this pressure.

"Yeah I'm fine I guess" I say looking back in the mirror, straightening myself up.

"Are you sure Claudia your cheeks are-" he says walking closer to me as if to take a closer look.

"Mhm I'm fine" I mumble, avoiding eye contact, on the verge of tears.

It strikes me, and so I ask;
"Timmy, how long have you been standing there?"

I'm worried now.

"Long enough" he replies.
That expression on his face.
The same as my brothers.

"How long have you been doing this to yourself Claudia?"
Memories come flying back to me.

"I'm so sorry Timmy I'm so sorry I'm so weak I-"
I say without hesitation and I just break down, collapsing to the floor.

Shut up Claudia. You're making a fool out of yourself.

Timothèe rushes over to me and sits beside me on the floor, with his back leaning against the wall.

He gently wraps his arms around me, pulling me in so my head is leaning on his chest.

I'm still sobbing uncontrollably, I don't know why I'm doing this to myself. Every time Adam calls, I just sort of break down and freeze, he's a disease, and it just seems to be getting worse.

I'm so glad Timmy's here for me,
I love him.

Timothèe whispers in my year "shh, shh Clauds, I've got you, I've got you, you don't have to be scared with me. Shh, shh"
Pulling me in, embracing me.
His words comfort me.

My crying slows down eventually, and after that, all I can remember is falling asleep on his chest.