dark hot blood

Chapter 2

It was on a particularly foggy day in early October when Mr. Hearst assigned the Psychology of a Song project. By that point, I had already been used to Seth being in the same class as me. I'd been comfortable, in fact. He hadn't once interacted with me, and with the knowledge that he probably never would, I lost most the the anxious dread that I felt the first few weeks of the school year. That morning when I sat down at my desk, my body was begging me to fall asleep when Mr. Hearst's booming voice shattered my weary tranquility.

"Alright guys, today we're gonna try something new," He announced, stepping out from behind his desk before the class. Mr. Hearst was a tall, lanky man, with salt-and-pepper hair, a goatee, and the whitest, most fatherly sense of humor I'd ever heard, in the sense that he told dad jokes and was white. He was fun though; one of my favorite teachers, in fact. Mr. Hearst tapped on the smartboard, and it changed from a blank slide to one with the words Psychology of a Song on it. "It's called the Psychology of a Song project, and I have a feeling you kids are gonna love it. It's creative, it's non-restrictive, and most importantly, it's fun." He said with a smile. "Basically, you're going to have two weeks to pick a song, any song, and analyze it. Find the deeper meaning, extract that deeper meaning if you have to, and make a project based off of your analysis. It could be a video, a slideshow, an essay; I don't care as long as it shows me that you understand the assignment and the song. Whatever it is, though, it has to be creative. I had a past group who made a short film based off of Toxic by Britney Spears once. It was... surprisingly good. They ended up submitting it to a film festival and won. That was a crazy year." Mr. Hearst chuckled to himself and sighed. "This project is to be done in pairs, so what we're gonna do is half the class is going to write their name on a piece of paper and puts the paper in the hat," He lifted up a neon green top hat with the words "Choosing Hat" scrawled onto it in Sharpie. "the other half of the chooses from the hat to get their partner. Is all that clear?" It was clear to the class, and we did as he said, and in my naive mind I thought to myself,

No, there's no way I'll get partnered with him. There's just no way.

Looking at the other side of the room in horror, I found that Seth was in the group that would choose names from the hat. 

No. Absolutely not. I'm going to be fine. He won't pick me from the hat.

I scribbled down my name on a piece of paper and folded it up. I tossed it in the hat along with all the other names, my cheeks turning pink as I tried to get the idea out of my head. 

You're being a dumbass, Laurel. You're being worried over nothing.

I watched, panicking, as the hat was passed across the room to Seth's group. 

He won't pick my name. I would die if he picked my name.

I watched, pale but somehow also as red as a tomato, as his group took turns fishing folded up pieces of paper from the hat. As Seth unfolded the paper he'd chosen.

Chill out, oh my god. 

As people started pairing up with each other, Seth looked up from the piece of paper he'd picked. 

He's not looking at me. There's no way he's looking at me.

He gave me a little wave and an awkward smile.

Oh god, why was that cute? Why is he cute??

My heart was screeching, jumping up and down with no intention of stopping anytime soon. I stifled a wave, smiling awkwardly back at him.

I'm such a fucking dumbass. 

I walked gingerly towards him, trying my hardest to get my skin to look less like I got a sunburn. 

"You're Laurel, right?" He said.

He said my name. Oh my god, he said my name.

"Yeah. And you're Seth?" I asked, as if I didn't already know his name.

"Yeah, nice to meet you," He smiled at me, extending his hand to shake mine. I stared at his hand for what felt like hours but was probably two or three seconds before shaking it.

If I die now, I die happy.

"Nice to meet you, too. I love you're outfit by the way. I like your outfits every day, actually. You have great style."

Someone shoot me now.

Seth blushed a little, probably from my forwardness. "Oh, thanks! I like your outfit too--"

"Alright, everyone, enough chit-chat. Get your partners numbers and sit next to each other. This is going to be an in and out of class project, so I'm deeply encouraging you to hang out together after school for this," Mr. Hearst said, sitting back in his chair. Me and Seth made our way towards the desks and sat next to each other. My heart banged incessantly against my rib cage. My face was hot, hand trembling. 

I can't believe I touched his hand. 

The overwhelming feeling of dread I'd been feeling was replaced by something else. 

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad.