Impossible Diagnosis of Heartbreaks and Falling In Love

Her

"Dude, she's emotionless."

"All the guys who try to court her have no chance."

These were the whispers in the school hallways during my high school days. And now, these are the same words buzzing around at Jollibee restaurant where I work, spoken by my fellow crew members.

Out of everyone, Richard stood out the most. He never gave up on his love for me, even though I couldn't reciprocate any feelings.

"Mina, I still love you a lot. I've been pursuing you since high school, college, and now we're working here at Jollibee restaurant, which is also our go-to spot for dates. Do you think there's a chance you'll love me too?"

I sighed and sadly looked at him. "Richard, I've told you before. You don't stand a chance. No one does."

"Why are you saying that, Mina? Well, I can still wait for you."

"Richard, to be blunt, I just can't feel love."

With those words, Richard didn't understand. I saw how hurt he was with what I said, but that's the truth. Ever since I was born, I never felt the emotion of falling in love with someone, never had a crush, or felt any spark, or even got butterflies with a smile from a cute guy.

The silence between us was deafening, and I knew from that moment on, Richard would stop declaring his feelings for me. I was surprised by how long he had persevered in courting me since high school.

If only I could feel the emotion of falling in love, I would choose to fall in love with Richard, but that's impossible.

"You can say anything else to hurt me, but lying, that's so heartless of you."

Me? Heartless. I could say that's true. How could a person like me not feel this powerful emotion everyone else was feeling? Maybe he's right. I am heartless.

After work when everyone was finished with their shift, at the stairway outside Jollibee, I shed tears. Richard's words echoing in my mind.

And to my surprise, someone held out a handkerchief for me.

"Hey, don't cry. Here. Take it."

I looked up and saw a guy with the kindest face, like an angel's.

I took his handkerchief and wiped the tears off my eyes.

"Thank you. I needed this."

"Keep it with you for now."

Then, like the way stars vanish in the sky, the kind guy disappeared into the night.

The next morning: Richard didn't bother to greet me like he always does. He kept his distance, just like I expected him to.

But to my surprise, I saw the kind guy being introduced by our boss, the owner of this Jollibee restaurant branch.

"This is Darren, my son. He will be observing how you work, so you better be good. Thank you, everyone, for your hard work, and give Darren a warm welcome."

Applause from everyone echoed, and all I noticed was Darren smiling and looking at me - only me.

Before the shift ended, I decided to talk to Richard just because we had been friends for ages and I didn't want our friendship to end this way.

"Richard, about yesterday, can we forget about it?"

He sighed. "Mina, you know that I still have feelings for you, right?"

"But we can still be friends."

"I want to keep my distance for now. I think I need to move on. It's unfair for you to still be close to me, and being in love with you is breaking my heart. We can be friends again once I move on." He gave me a sad smile, and all I felt was agony.

Again when everyone was away, I sat at the same stairway, feeling all sadness and hurt in my chest.

Crying not because I love Richard, but I was crying because our friendship ended because of my stupid heart. If only my heart could learn how to love, but what to do? I knew there was one solution to all of this, but it is forbidden in my family, especially one of my mom's strict rules. She'd never forgive me if I disobeyed her.

Then, the same moment happened like déjà vu. Someone offered a handkerchief, and when I looked up, it was Darren, the son of my boss and the same guy who offered me his handkerchief yesterday.

I took the handkerchief and wiped my tears, but they kept falling.

"Sorry if you keep seeing me this way," I said, breaking the silence as he sat right next to me.

"You haven't returned my handkerchief from yesterday. I'm mad at you."

I looked at him and thought he was serious until he suddenly laughed.

"Just joking. You can keep both handkerchiefs if you want. If they could comfort you in some way."

His smile, the expression in his eyes, everything about him reminded me that there were really kind people in this world.

"I owe you. What could I do in return? Any help? I could cook you your favorite food or buy you your favorite book? Tell me."

He said that caught me off guard, "I want you to show me the way to the secret Feelings market."

I was taken aback. "Are you sure? It's forbidden, sir, especially to rich people."

But he looked determined. "I know. But I badly need to buy one emotion."

"And that is?"

"Happiness. Because... just in case I get my heart broken, I will need that emotion, and if I don't have it soon, I might die."