A 90's Friday Night Lights meets Fifty Shades, only the town is the sadomasochist and the two young lovers their pawns.
July Elizabeth Edwards is stuck in the existence her pretentious, rural East Texas town has allotted her. A shift in social statu...
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Weeks flew by, and I wasn't in a place where I could think past what was going on with my dad, much less what wasn't going on with July and I— I hadn't told anyone how severe the situation had become with my father, because I'm not quite sure I understood it myself.
My stepmom was having trouble with it, understandably, but without Dad's valid input, I had no one.
I put July out of my head. I put that night away. It was too much. She never even knew why I was late, and with everything she listed going on that night at the party, how could I blame her for getting tanked? She probably thought I wouldn't show, even though I had a solid reason for being late. I simply wasn't ready to talk about my dad. I couldn't make it real for anyone else when it was not yet real for me.
I knew July was hurting, and I knew I could potentially hurt her again with my silence. It was fight or flight, and I had to fly and fight for my dad. There wasn't room for my feelings for anyone else. I knew this logically, yet night after night, in the late hours of my evening... I would weigh out the situation and our actions. I don't think I'd watched football replays as much as I replayed, well, us.
I hadn't asked, but Lynn told me about the Spencer resolve. She didn't say who it was at the Tomlin party nor who Spencer's "buddy" was, but it wasn't hard to guess. I weighed that pressure into July's situation. The idea that she held that in for so long while I was flaunting Natalie in front of her, and how Devin had fueled that situation to start something with July. It was a lot for someone to go through, and there were so many other things I didn't yet know she was facing.
Then, I factored in mine. My knee, my dad, and everything I lost that Spring semester.
Only, fuck if she wasn't the only thing that made it better! I ran to her in a crisis in the office that day, and she was the only one I wanted to see after that when things turned upside down with coach. I didn't know it at the time, and still, it seems ludicrous our trajectories crossed paths that day. Even more so that I unknowingly relied on it.
My best friend was standing there. Reagan, another friend for life was standing in arms reach, and I latched on to the only one I wanted to stand by me in the moment. It was automatic. As uncertain as my behavior had been toward July, I never question the certainty of how much I wanted her. I questioned the why often, usually to talk myself out of pursuing her, but I never questioned whether it was real or not.
