My Every Second of Loving You

Be with me, could you?

I am Clara, or Yura in RP terms. I am writing this as my comfort piece. Telling others how much I love Kalix will always be the happiest and my favorite thing to do.

I could talk for hours all about him, all about my love for him.

Each second, and every second I have spent ever since then, is by loving him

God andami kong gustong masabi tungkol sa lalaking ito, pano ko to iniibig, gaano, at bakit.

Etong unang parte ng aking inilimbag na piraso at sa isinusulat kong ito, ito ay isang parte ng aking nararamdaman.

Tunay na walang Salita ang makakapagsabi ng pagmamahal ko.

No words can say my real capacity of love for him. Ah scratch that, my love for him will always be endless and will be capacity less.

18th of November, 11:59 PM.

This was the night where he started expressing his love for me, where everything started.

This is the night he started courting me.

Where he asked me, to be with him.

Honestly, I was caught offguard dito. Akala ko mag coconfess siya, akala ko may update lang siya pero yun pala hiningi niya permiso ko na ligawan siya.

Netong mga panahong to, gusto ko palang siya at alam kong gusto niya rin ako ngunit palihim lang yun.

"When you secretly know that you both like each other"

He didn't know that I like him as such I told I can't reciprocate his feelings yet

Gusto ko siya mas makilala..

Mas makausap..

Gusto ko mahulog ng mas mahulog sa kaniya

Gusto ko siya maging akin sa punto kung saan mahal ko na siya

Pero nahulog ako. Ibinunyag ng mga kaibigan ko yung nararamdaman ko para sa lalaking ito. Nalaman niya naman kaya wala nang punto ang pagtatago

Pero pinili niya parin tanungin kung pede ba ako ligawan, bihira na ung mga lalaking ganyan

Malaman lang nila an gusto rin sila, gusto nila sila na agad

Ako'y tunay na nagpapasalamat sa lalaking ito:((

I let him court me, as such he was the first one to court me really

I began to know him more, I began to form a bond with him, I began to get inside his tough heart who has a soft spot only for me

This man waited for me like what he said he will, I appreciated the fact even if we were having almost a no label relationship while courting stage, he didn't give up on me

He did effort on me, he did love me a lot

He is everything..

Everything I wanted.

And I will never regret loving this man, never.

He felt as if he was God's answer to me to my endless cycle of pain through finding the love at the wrong people

He was as if my cure to my pain

Through the year I was suffering trying to cover up the hole I had in my heart

The hole I tried to fill by craving and finding love to others

I tried. Wrong people came to fill it but failed and pass.

Wrong people filled it but broke it

But this man? This man came right into my life when 2023 was almost ending, when I was on the verge of giving up finding love

This man gave hope to my tired life

He gave me colors again to my colorless monochromatic world.

This man, God I never regret meeting him.

Kalix treated me so good, he made me feel na parang yung mga bagay na kina sasana all ko lang sa tiktok sa mga mag jowa, yung mga nakikita ko ngayon ay naiparamdam niya sakin

I love how I am his only exception, his queen and his everything.

I love how even if madaming tao yung pinapakilala ko sa kaniya at madaming gusto siyang kilalanin bago ko daw sagutin; he was more than willing to meet the people important to me.

This man proved himself to me and loved me dearly.

As he was courting me, we passed challenges, he never failed!

I still have the very very message he had back when he was courting me.

Which is:

Truly this man is very dear to me and as I move on the next part, this is once again written with the every second, every minute and every hour I have of loving him.