The Body Sculptor

Waiting to be a Woman ~ Part 2

After three weeks of waiting to hear something from the clinic, I'm growing stir-crazy. I need someone to talk to, and nobody understands me better than my grandma. She practically raised me when I was little. I remember hearing the stories of Gram and her friends, basically changing the world as we know it. She has been in the feminist movement for decades.

As I'm throwing my clothes in my bag, I'm thinking,
pretty soon..,I won't have to wear women's clothes that look like they could also be men's clothes..,I'll be rockin' my pink leggings and short skirts, showing off my cute girly butt!

It's a couple-hour drive, so I have plenty of time to think about girly-hood on the way. Like how I need to get enrolled in the therapy sessions Aria mentioned."I'll look into it later; see, I already think like a girl," with a big grin.
"I hope I have the guts to tell Gram."

"Hi Grandma," I got her world-famous hug at the door. "I've been thinking about you a lot lately, and missing you."

It's a warm, feminine feeling to sit on the couch with my grandma with a hot cup of tea. "Can you tell me the story again, when you and your friends were killing-it in the feminist movement?"

"We weren't exactly killing-it" she says with a big smile. "The thing I'm most proud of is, myself and four of my friends researched and did some of the groundwork for Naomi Wolf. She was writing a book at that time, 'The Beauty Myth' The book is about females growing up in the 70s. Young women were competing with the images that America saw in TV commercials, magazine ads, and the fashion industry of thin, lanky models. Like Twiggy for instance.

These were beauty standards created, and promoted by a 'male-centered' culture that didn't care about hurting young girls. 'It's just business' they would say. However, many young girls were and are harming their bodies, starving themselves using tactics like anorexia and bulimia, even suicide."

"Oh I agree, those images of thin, high-fashion models are still being seen and hurting young girls across America. I've always been so proud of you, Grandma, I hope you know, you're like my hero."

"Ever since I was little, I've had a feminine side."
"You were always a little feminine and sensitive, Damien."

"I already feel like a woman inside; by the end of this year, I'll look like a woman on the outside as well." I showed Grandma the brochure from the clinic.
"I've already committed to this."

Turning through a few pages, "Come here and give Grandma a big hug." With her arms wrapped around me,
"If this is what you really want Damien, then you should know you can always count on my support." "Especially with certain members of the family."
"I suppose you have a feminine name picked out."

"I very much like the name 'Anna', short for Anastasia, also great-grandmother's name." "Oh, It's a beautiful name. Anna, is a name that speaks of dignity and beauty."Looking at grandma, "The women in our family probably won't appreciate me choosing that name."

She gives me a warm, caring smile. "You're welcome to tell them it was my idea."
"Oh, thank you, you're always so thoughtful and sweet".
"However, when I transition to a woman, they'll disown me anyway."

Spending the night here always gives me cozy, warm feelings; like being six years old again, wearing onesie jammies with my head on grandma's lap.

"From now on, you are my precious 'Anna'."

While I was at Grandma's I enrolled in the evening therapy sessions, starting this Friday.
The next day I'm getting ready for the drive back, "I love you Gram, you're my one and only, kindred spirit."
"I'll stay in touch."