Broken promises

There he was, laying on the bed. I've never seen him like this before. His skin was all pale, his lips were so blue. I knew that this day would come, but I never expected it to be like this. The wound was infected, it didn't look good at all.
He stared at me. "Mildrith, I am so sorry" he said with tears in his eyes. I didnt no what to say, so I just sat there all quiet. I cannot blame my father for his actions. He tried his best and also he just wants what's best for us.
I kept staring at the floor, when I heard small steps from behind. It was my mother. One could hear as my father struggled to take his last breath. Witnessing my mother, seeing father pass away was a sight I wouldn't have wished upon my worst enemy. My mother and father had a strong bond, you could see the love between them from miles away.
Actually, I know nothing about love, and I'm not sure if it's something I believe in. But watching my mother and father spend time together made me happy. My mother was always so joyful in my father's company.

My mother used to tell me stories and she used to say that one day perhaps I would find the love of my life. But, father has made it hard for me. He is, well now that he's dead, he was in debt, a major debt. My father wanted to find favor with God, so he devoted a tenth of his land to the church. They don't own it but they're entitled to its yield, even when crops fail. There is no suitor for me and there is no man that wants me. His debt is now my debt and now I owe a lot of money to the church.
The first time I heard about my dad's debt, I didn't believe it was as serious as everyone described it to be. I didn't really understand why it would affect me. Every other girl my age is married, everyone thinks there's something wrong with me, to the extent that some men don't see value in me. I guess they don't want to inherit my father's problems.

Odda the Younger came to visit the other day, before my father passed away. I like Odda, but I think he likes me more than I like him. Odda is my godfather's son, and we grew up together in Oxton.
When we were younger, he used to say that we would get married one day and joke about how we one day would rule over Wessex. Odda promised my father to take care of me, to always look after me, and to always make sure that I was okay.
After my father passed away, Oxton was not the same, and the same went for my mother. She was devastated by my father's death. I didn't feel much, to be honest. Of course, it was tough to see my father so ill, but after that, it was like all the emotions within me were gone.
Just a few months later my brother passed away. The plague hit him hard, but it's okay because he is with God now. My brother was my best friend and the only guy I could speak openly with without receiving judgmental looks or comments.
He wanted to be cremated so he could continue life with the earth of nature. He wanted me to scatter a portion of his ashes in the sea, a part in the forest, and a portion in the meadow. Initially, I found it hard to accept his wish because I wanted to keep him with me even after his passing. But it shouldn't be what I want and wish for, so I had to respect my brother's choice of burial.
I never really had time to grieve, either my fathers death nor my brothers. But I guess that's common.
Next day I woke up, got dressed and was on my way to church.
I was just about to leave when I saw that Odda the Elder was on his way into our home. I hadn't seen him in a long time, the last time being when my father passed away. 'Hello, it's been a while,' he said as he stepped into the house with his dirty shoes. 'Where is your mother?' he asked. 'Out fetching firewood,' I replied. 'Sit down,' he said with a serious tone. Then he continued, 'You are getting married, Mildrith, tomorrow. King Alfred has inquired about you, and it's just a matter of accepting.'
I didn't really know what to say; it's not like I have much of a choice. They've discussed this before, though I didn't think it would happen so soon.
Odda is an honorable man and the only man I can trust, and if this is the only way I can get married, then so be it. Alfred had previously inquired about me, knowing about my father's debt and how I could be relieved of it. The question is whether the man I am to marry is aware of it.
My mother came in, "ohh Odda what brings you here? " she asks. "Mildrith is getting married tomorrow" he replies. Then he leaves. My mother never really liked Odda, but my father did, so she must respect him despite her hate towards him.
Throughout my life, I've been prepared to become a wife, a good one. But I never thought it would happen this quickly.
I wish my father could be with us.
Odda told me that the man would pay 33 silver coins as a dowry. Not enough to pay off the debt, but it's something, at least.
So, was this my last night as an unmarried woman? I didn't really know how to feel.
The next day I woke up to the loud noises coming from my family, they were getting ready to go to church. 'Right, marriage day.' i said with a sigh. I was going to get married to god knows who, my godfather thinks that he's a good mach for me. I on the second hand have not met him yet, I'll meet him at church, when we get married. To be very honest, i don't know how to feel, excited to see who it is but at the same time, nervous?. I closed my eyes for one last time before hearing a strong knock on my door that woke me completely. "Come in". I raised my voice so i could be heard. It was my mother, she opened the door softly but fast at the same time. I could tell she was stressed. "Come on Mildrith, get ready." My mother said while hurriedly putting my gown on the chair that's next to my bed. I sighed and rolled on the other side facing the window. "No time for laying down, get ready for we're leaving soon". She was right, I need to get up now so i won't be late.