Dilly Dallying

Angela

Running through the meadow, you had a big smile on your face because I had put that flower in behind your ear. I had a big smile on my face by the way your face lit up when you saw It was a daisy, your favorite. I'll never forget that. you had no problem letting me put it in your hair and in that moment I knew I was in love with you. There was no escaping the grasp you had on me. I dream of you in reverie.

I remember the first time I met you almost 3 years ago, you had come into the coffee shop I worked at. I was straightening up the place because there was no one there and when we made eye contact you practically beckoned me over to you. if anyone else had done that I would have been annoyed, but you... you were perfect to me in the 5 seconds that I had seen you.

I hope you know the only reason I'm writing this letter isn't because I'm not over you but it's because I am over you.

I put my pencil down and put my hands in my head stupid stupid stupid  Its not like you're  going to read this letter, I'm not even sending it out, partly because I don't know where you are. I am over you though, I promise. If I could hear myself from someone else's perspective I would slap myself, how could I sound so unbelievably stupid right now. it does make sense tho, Its almost been a year since you left me and this is saying goodbye. I don't want to suffer in this ghost town, I'm slowly finding my way out.

I picked up the pen and began to wrote again 

I know this letter will never reach you because I have no intent of sending it out even if I did know your address. I remember everything about you, your name, the way you would always dance in an empty parking lot, how you loved taxis, and how your voice would always burn into me. I went to a few bars in the past year, getting drunk and holding strangers hands, but theyre not you, they will never be you. these words mean nothing now, but no one could ever be you

You will always have a special part of me and I will always keep you close but the truth is I'm over you. I don't want to be over you but nothing is telling me that we'll get a do-over and I'm alright with that. Even though we're over I still love you

But I'm not in love with you.