Funky and the Beast

Chapter Un

A quiet province in France lay quietly sound, this province known as "Bite Couilles Sperme Pisse" was a large recruiter for the French army with one boy in particular attempting to escape the idea of joining.

"Carol c'mon!" Boyfriend yelled, he was a small boy with blue hair, a strange phenomena that passed in generations.

"Hold on Boyfriend, let me grab my things." Carol said, Carol and Boyfriend were childhood friends since school days.

Carol stepped out wearing a skirt decorated in orange.

"Bonjour Boyfriend." Carol said jumping down to him.

"Bonjour Carol." Boyfriend said before shaking her hand.

"Where to today?" Carol asked as the two looked around town.

"Maybe the woods?" Boyfriend asked.

Suddenly they heard boot stomps making the two smile as they had a better idea now.

They hid behind some barrels and saw that they were full of finely aged wine.

The two snickered as Boyfriend pulled out a knife and stabbed it making it leak into the street.

"*Ugh* Mon deiu, who's leaking this fine wine!" The stomper yelled as the two laughed.

They were then grabbed by the stomper who was actually the recent general, Horsebackman.

"You little cock suckers, what are you little misfits doing anyways?" He asked setting them down. "Carol, your supposed to be picking a husband, unless he's-"

"No." Boyfriend said.
"Absolutely not." Carol said.

The duo liked being just friends.

"Well that kid's supposed to be enlisted by now, I extended it long enough but now he should be in the enlistment office." Horsebackman said.

"Ha as I'd fight for Tord, I'd rather be beheaded than-"

Boyfriend was at the guillotine and was trembling.

"Hehe, you're bluffing." Boyfriend said as the execution grunt let go and grabbed the rope right as it touched Boyfriend's neck. "Okay, that was a little excessive."

He was let out before seeing his mother watching him.

"Don't make me do that again punk, or it won't be a mock execution." Horsebackman said punching Boyfriend's arm.

"Boyfriend, are you okay?" Carol asked as Boyfriend's mom walked up to them.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." Boyfriend said looking at his mother who had teary eyes.

"Mom, I'm sorry but I don't want to end up like dad, or my brothers, dying for that red bastard."

"I'd rather know you died like that than you being publicly executed." She said.

Later that day his mother had left to get to the well and get some water.

Meanwhile in the house Boyfriend and Carol were pacing the floor.

"I swear Carol, I'm out of here and taking my family with me, I'm going to protect them from Tord and whoever else he sends!" Boyfriend yelled punching his palm.

"I... Wish I could go with you BF, I really do but..." Carol sighed, she knew she couldn't run from her life as is.

"I-, I understand." Boyfriend said before they exchanged a hug.

The next morning there was a knock on the door, it was another man within the army's ranks.

"Attention all people in this household emperor Tord is holding another speech at the town's center!" The Horseman said, he wasn't a literal horse either, just a rider.