Emmie's Diary - (sequel to 'My Football Heart')

One

October 19th 2037

It's October 19th 2037, I lost my mama 6 years ago today and it still hits me as if it was yesterday though I was only 7 at the time. My father he got me this diary when I turned 10 but i've only. i'm decided that I want to start writing in it.

The day after mama's death the world went to hell, we all felt like a whole part of our soul was ripped straight from our bodies and we were pushed into a river with how many tears were shared.

My father and my uncle pep have never been the same since and I still don't understand how to explain any of it to Javier, none of us do. My mother was everyone's bestfriend she adored and appreciated everyone who they were and showed them their worths.

But most of all she was the bestest of friends to us, her family. My mother raised me without my father for the first year of my life because she believed he had cheated on her with her best friend. Though she did make amends with my father and Laila.

Laila and Pedri are together but Pedri doesn't even want to think of a marriage with anyone because it takes him right back to my mother's marriage to his best friend. He doesn't want to be married without her being there.

I wish I could say after 6 years everything's completely fine but nothings fine at all everyone's still broken. My father's not been himself since she died and I wish I could just sit there and tell him he'll get through this but I know he won't.

My grandpapa he's at the point in his life where he is genuinely ready to give himself up but he's still here because he knows we can't live another loss.

Pedri he is well my mama was more like his sister so think of loosing a sibling who you relied on and think of life without them though worse. He barely leaves his room, he still lives in that one house we've all lived in since we were young.

We can't bare to leave it because everywhere we walk it's full of where she was. Every wall, every painting, photograph she's touched or she's in. We can't walk away from a place that meant so much to her.

I closed the book to my diary as I sat there looking into my mirror that my mother once looked through as this was her vanity before it was mine.

I looked just like her as everyone always said. My hair, my face shape, my nose everything was hers apart from my eyes who I get from my father. I look at myself and see her a lot especially since I started football.

Football was her favourite thing in this universe I know if she didn't have football she wouldn't have got so far in her life. Though she'll always been my biggest inspiration.

I do play for Barcelona of course not the team she played for yet as I am not quite at that age but I have the potential bare the fact my mother, father and uncle are all professional footballers it would be mad if I wasn't.

Javier started playing years back not long after mama died he got into football and it's more of a coping mechanism for him now even though he's just seven.

I placed my diary into the drawer of the vanity and my pen placed neatly on top of it. I then stood up and made my way out of my bedroom walking down the stairs being greeted by my father who was in the kitchen making dinner.

Though I could already smell what he was making and mama would be so so proud of him for it. He's making her favourite and homemade lasagna, we had it every Wednesday when her and I lived in Manchester.

"I have training tomorrow will you be okay with grandpapa?" He asks me as I jump up sitting myself onto the counter. "Yeah of course." I smile at him and he gives me a small corner smile back.

I miss his spark the spark he had whenever mama looked at him, the way his eyes used to sparkle now they just drop. We both turned towards the door as we heard more footsteps from the hallway.

As Pedri poked his head into the door I was shocked. Pedri we don't see often so whenever he comes downstairs it's a huge surprise to us all, he looked over to me and smiled as he walked over.

"How are you?" He asks me and I just shrug shaking it off a little. "How are you?" I ask him back and he places a kiss onto my forehead just like he used to my mothers. "I'm okay." He says and father turns to him raising his brow slightly.

"You're okay?" He says and Pedri nods. "I am." This gave papa and ease to himself as he then cracked a real smile. Pablo Gavi will only ever be happy when he knows the people around him are too.

It's something I slowly noticed about my father as I grew up over the years. Though everything's been so awkward since she passed, nobody can have a laugh or a simps conversation without her being involved.

10 Years Ago

I was laying in beside mama and papa while watching pirates of the caribbean with the a nd uncle pep. Mama told me that this is what they did all the time ever since her and pep were little and when papa came into her life they all done this together.

"Pablo, stop." mama laughed historically as he tickled her in the sides. Uncle pep wasn't having it and threw a pillow at my father's head, I started giggling and then my father stopped tickling my mother and started on me!

"papa!! papa!!! stop!" I kept giggling and laughing as he tickled me and then uncle pep yet again threw another pillow at my father's head. "Will you stop being a loud little ball!" Pedri shouts from the bottom of my mother's legs.

"Why not you all just shush and watch the movie." Mama said as the boys chuckled then kept themselves quiet. I looked up at my mother my eyes were fluttering into hers and she looked down at me this bright smile applied onto her face.

"What you looking at hm?" I smiled and laid my head onto her chest while my father's fingers ran through my hair. The hair I got from her the hair from my mother. "This here is forever." Pedri says as he looks over to us.

I look at him with a large smile onto my lips and he comes over grasping me from my mother's grasp throwing me in the air. "Pedri! Be careful with her." My mother says though my father just laughed. "I'm very capable of holding an almost four year old Macie." He rolls his eyes throwing me up again.

"You said the same thing about me and you dropped me!" She says. "Wasn't he like six when you were four Macie?" My father asks her and I laugh. "He was indeed." I say sticking my tongue out at my mother.

"You cheeky bugger." She says standing up and grabbing me from my uncle as she then turns my into a giggling monster with all her tickles. "My perfect little girl." She says.

Present

I open my eyes with the feeling of a tear running down my cheek. Oh how I miss her so much, how i miss every part of her. "Hey mini moo." Pedri looks to me and wipes the tear from my cheek. "Don't cry." He says and I just immediately wrap my arms around him.

"I miss her." I say "I miss her so much." I repeat. My father walks over and places his hand onto my back. "We all do. We know." He says and I take small breaths on Pep's chest. "She isn't coming back and I can't bare it." Pedri says.

"Me neither." I shake my head and look up to my father who's eyes are now watering. "She's always with us Emmie." He says. "Always."