I woke up in the middle of the night, confused as I'd never been before. I felt odd and feverish like I weren't fully awake. I sat up and realised my white pajamas were covered with sweat so I got undressed quickly and lay down. Without any hesitation I searched for my phone in the drawer next to my bed. It was half past three in the morning but I decided to call Lydia anyway.
I was so stupid for doing that but I started to feel like everything was getting out of hand. When Petra had been hospitalised I thought it would've been sensible to let Lydia know about what had happened. Then I reminded myself about the reason she'd moved away and tried not to think about contacting her anymore.
But that night,... I don't know, everything just felt as if I woke up in another universe where the time was different or somehow unreal. Suddenly, I wanted to tell Lydia every single detail. Her ability to have control over things gave me the feeling of being safe even though sometimes it would've been better if she hadn't been involved into everything.
She picked up the phone in a few seconds. I was not sure she would and besides that, I had no idea how to start that conversation.
"Sharon?" she whispered, "what's the matter?"
"Lydia, I," I started but then, all of a sudden, I felt my throat closing up.
"Sharon?" Lydia repeated. She sounded concerned but I just couldn't stop crying.
"I need you to come back," I said after questioning the purpose of this conversation. She remained silent.
"Please," I begged her, "do it for Petra." I did not know what to expect from Lydia but she'd promised it wouldn't take her more than a few days to come. I could not talk anymore so I hung up.
What was I thinking? I got up, drank a glass of cold water and took a long shower.
Later in the morning I got a call from the hospital while I was getting ready for the final rehearsal before the next week's performance. The nurse told me to come the day after the next day and said Petra must've really had a panic attack and since there was nothing else to do, she should be fine from then on.
