Good girls go to heaven, Bad girls go everywhere (g!p Jennie x fem!reader)

1.8 Everywhere

For a moment, Y/n didn't want to wake up. She wanted to end her night once and for all, but the reality had dawned upon her and she couldn't ignore what had happened anymore. There were lines she was fine with being crossed, but certain weren't worth it anymore no matter how good Jennie made her feel or how she felt for the woman. It would be too self-degrading because it had already been all this time.

It hurt to think about it, but every other moment with Jennie hurt twice as much and it no longer was worth tearing herself into small pieces just to be with the woman. Had it ever been worth it? Y/n couldn't lie to herself and say no because she could see past the facade of the horrible person that Jennie was, but it tore at her to know that she wouldn't be the one to stay and see the facade crack and let Jennie come out.

Y/n slowly sat up in the bed, she had never been to Jennie's place before and she wasn't going to come back. There was no home to go to, she was already aching and couldn't ache more just to force something without a base to be her home when it wasn't stable enough to be one.

She looked down at the woman who hadn't changed and was lying in her lap, hugging her waist. The white tee was stained with blood that was the vixen's. She could feel the way her lower lip pulsated and she gently ran her fingers over it. It made her stomach drop because she never wanted Jennie to take it so far and leave her with so many choices, but only one right one.

It twisted and twisted until there was nothing more left to twist and Y/n was left to feel sick at the emotions that had been twisted and poured over her body. It made her shaky, the sadness, the anger, the regret, the longing already happening, the despair of knowing that she wasn't enough to break those walls and see the other part of Jennie that seemed dead by now.

She grabbed hold of Jennie's arms and gently unwrapped them from around her, the black tee and sweat shorts loose on her as she had been changed. Jennie didn't want to let go as she instantly wrapped her arms around Y/n again the second the contact disappeared. Heat ran across the older woman's body at the anxiety that shot through her and woke her up in an instant.

She had never experienced such fear, such fear of losing the one thing she couldn't lose because she had never had something she couldn't lose. Jennie could have it all because she had the money, but she knew that she would never be able to get another Y/n. No one would ever replace Y/n.

She wanted to take responsibility for what she did–even if she mixed it all up in her head.

"No, no, where are you going?" Jennie tried to grasp at Y/n, her voice quivering awake as she forced her eyes open. The sleep she had gotten didn't help her at all. Her brain felt like mush, her body was trembling from exhaustion, it was trembling from fear and overwhelming emotions she hadn't felt in years.

"You can't leave me, Y/n." She added and got on her knees. Jennie's eyes which were laced with regret, guilt, and despair looked into Y/n's wide eyes as the girl looked conflicted, but at the same time sure of what had to be done. It made her chest heave as she had never needed to beg someone to stay, if anything she had always made them leave and she did once again, but not intentionally. She couldn't have her leave.

Y/n was Jennie's lifeline, she was the only thing keeping her grounded and alive, and she couldn't lose that. Jennie had missed feeling things despite doing her best to be numb, but Y/n was different. The vixen made her want to feel everything because it felt good no matter how much it hurt after. This was different, she wanted to feel everything but the despair of not being able to keep someone who was leaving.

"Please." It was a plea and she tried to reach out for Y/n, to brush her hair away like she always did, to cup her face and kiss her until it would all go away and be fine. To reel her back in like she always did and make her stay by coaxing her and brushing off all her mistakes by showering her with love. Jennie was ready to go out of her way this time, to do more and better than all the other times, to even keep her promises if it meant that Y/n stayed.