I Hate Oliver Sykes (Oli Sykes Fan Fiction) COMPLETE

35. Guilt That Eats You Alive.

We headed to the venue and waiting backstage was the same as always, the guys going onto the stage was the same as always... the crowd screaming as their idols came into view was the same as always. I'd seen the show so many times that I could probably run the concert myself.
"Hey, I need to talk to you about something..." Paige said ominously as the band's intro music played.
"OK?" I questioned. I had absolutely no idea what it was going to be about but it seemed weird that she was waiting for the show to start, when we would be completely alone. We stayed for the first song, then went backstage and Paige sat down on the couch with a bottle of water. She looked kind of sad and I had a horrible feeling in my stomach. I honestly thought she was about to tell me she was pregnant.

Instead, Paige told me a story about Ava; Oli's fangirl, Oli's hook up from Portugal, Oli's stalker. She'd apparently used my social media to find him and wait for him at the hotel, which I obviously had no intention of making happen, but worse than that... I'd TOLD HER where to find him at the club. AFTER she'd already pestered him at the hotel after soundcheck. Fuck. Things started clicking into place, like why Oli was so fucking annoyed with me, and I hated to admit it, but it made me feel guilty. Oli had tried to tell me about her after it had all gone down, but I acted like a total pain in the arse and ignored him... worse than that though, Ava had literally asked me if Oli wanted to see her less than an hour before we arrived at the club and I'd said yes. Double fuck. How the hell was I supposed to know that she'd been at the hotel earlier though? How was I meant to know she was bat shit crazy and actually harassing him?! I thought she was just some chick he fucked around with and I would just make him uncomfortable. I didn't know she was unhinged! I felt really guilty, but I wasn't really to blame, was I? It wasn't really my fault... I didn't know she was trouble in that kind of way. Paige told me that I should apologise to Oli, so I said I'd think about it. I needed to figure out if I wanted to. What had happened was shit, but I didn't fucking know the background... It's not like I knew she was a fucking danger to anybody or I wouldn't have done it. I opened Instagram and blocked her immediately seeing as she was following me, and I tried to enjoy the show. I didn't though because I felt fucking guilty and subsequently annoyed. I didn't care about Oli, but I didn't like that she had used me to get to him.

We went to a club after the show, the same as we always did, though Oli was still avoiding me and to tell you the truth, I was actually glad. The guilt was eating me alive and I didn't know where I stood yet, on whether I'd truly fucked up, whether I should take no blame at all, or if it was all just a really unfortunate prank gone wrong. I sat with the guys while Paige and Matt canoodled, while Oli flirted with random women, but I was thinking too much and unable to enjoy myself so I decided to just leave. I messaged Paige once I was outside to tell her I was heading back to the hotel, though I was going to wander around a bit first to try and clear my head. 

It was on my walk back to the hotel that I saw a guy by the river selling tickets for the last tour of the night; a boat trip up and down the Danube to see all of the landmarks at night. I made a spur of the moment decision to do it, so I paid for a ticket and took a seat on the boat. It was mostly full as we took off at 11pm and while the boat ride was relaxing, I couldn't stop thinking about Ava and more so, Oli. I couldn't imagine having people so obsessed that they would hunt for clues to your whereabouts and literally just turn up at your door or hotel... it would be terrifying! The guide started talking and pointing out flood-lit bridges and buildings, so I stopped thinking for a while. We went past the amazing fortress and castle Paige and I had visited that day and of course, past the stunning Parliament building. That was absolutely breath taking at night. I kind of forgot about the whole stalker thing and chatted with a couple of tourists as we glided along the water and I thoroughly enjoyed my night; much more than I would have just sitting in another nightclub.