The Timeline

38.

June 8th, 2016:

Traveling on her own with a barely 8-months-old toddler was no easy feat, Claire had heard from basically every single person she had spoken to in the time that had passed between Harry buying her the train tickets and the actual boarding of said train.

Specifically, Claire's mother, Jane, had been really discouraging with Claire, trying to persuade her from actually going to visit Harry on the set of 'Dunkirk', in actual Dunquerque, north of France.

"Claire, you have no idea what you're going to put yourself through when you're alone on that train." - she had said.

And then, "Toddlers are not made for traveling long distances, you're going to torture him."

But also, "My experiences were terrible, when I traveled with you lot as toddlers, which is why I stopped bringing you around when Steven was born. You're going to hate every second of that ride."

And one more time, "You're going to annoy everyone on board, and yourself. Are you sure it's a good idea? Why would you even need to go visit this stupid friend of yours on set? Isn't he going to be busy?"

There had been many more attempts on Claire's choice of going to visit Harry: Jane had not given up on trying to make Claire change her mind. She would call her daily, with the excuse of inquiring about Theodore's wellbeing and lamenting the lack of visits from him, the lack of pictures Claire sent them. Then, when Claire's eyes started hurting from being rolled so much in the span of 10 minutes, Jane would start whining about Claire's decision to go and visit Harry. Couldn't she go back home to Maidstone, maybe let her finally spend some time with her youngest grandson? She had insisted on having a baby at such a young age, it was just fair she would bring it to his grandparents, right?

Claire pretended to listen, leaving the phone on speaker and walking around the house, taking care of various chores and stuff she usually left halfway in the middle of doing them because she got bored; Jane didn't notice that Claire was not at the phone anymore, since she loved hearing herself talk and give monologues. Then, once Claire was sure her mother was done talking, she would turn around and say, "I'll be fine, mom. If not, you can gloat in telling me how much happier I would've been if I listened to you. Deal? Bye now."

Then she'd close the call, all under Theodore's watchful and bright blue eyes, sitting in his high chair, following her every movement through the house as far as he could see. Claire would make a face at him, expressing all her dislike for Jane's unwanted fussing, and Theodore would let out a gurgling laugh, making a smile return to Claire's face.

And yet, Claire picked up those phone calls whenever her mother's name lit up her phone. Not because she wanted to listen to her mother whine and tut at her, but rather because that was the most attention Jane had ever paid to Claire in her whole 20 years of life. Which was... If Claire started thinking about it, then she would also think about her talk with Beatrix over iced tea, and if she thought about it her head would start hurting because she would start overthinking everything and she had no time for that. Plus, Beatrix's situation had been completely different, so dwelling on her words would make no difference in Claire's feelings, nor her self-awareness.

Nonetheless, she had kept the small card Beatrix had given her. Tucked it deep down inside of a drawer of her room. But kept it, nonetheless.

Back to the main topic at hand, obviously, Claire had chosen to ignore her mother's advice. She had, however, phoned Anna about it, because she was nervous about traveling for almost 5 hours on a train - without counting the in-between waiting at train stations - with a newborn. Theodore was the most lovely baby boy to ever exist, but he was still a baby boy. What if she was truly going to stress him out with the journey? What if he got sick during the thing, by coming in contact with so many strangers? What if something happened to him during the train rides? Would she even have service on the trains as she moved through countries? Surely not as she traveled through the English Channel. What if the train caved in on itself due to pressure? Granted, the same journey happened many times a day, and nothing ever happened. But what if it happened when Claire was sitting on it with Theodore?