L
The end of the line is the end of the line.
And yet all continues.
You go on.
You open your eyes and you get out of bed and you walk. Even though you cannot walk.
You go towards the door; you twist its handle, its cold knob—even though it has none!
Even though it never had any.
It opens anyway.
She is outside, waiting. She is different.
Mother of Mothers.
Pale beautiful death and dreamy.
Dreams.
That is all this is. Was. Forever will be.
For the last few days, no one has come to me.
I imagined after the beating, they would have sent it some medical assistance.
But they did not.
Why not?
Am I not human? Do I not need to loved, just like everyone else does?
That sounds familiar.
No matter.
Maybe they imagined me frail and feeble, lying there, in a pool of my own warm curdling blood.
I will not look back now.
My room is filled with my writings.
Pages upon pages.
The trials and tribulations of a madman, you might say.
But you are wrong.
I can assure you of that.
The impulse in me (if that is what I can call it) is strong.
Be gone foul demons!
I care for her still. Even though she is gone. Even though she is no more.
Mother.
Let me tell you about her.
I feel I can do that now.
Because?
Because the Matron and Mister Licky have, it seems, stopped collecting my pages.
Maybe they think me dead?
I doubt it.
Anyway.
Every page from the last few days is scattered to the high heavens, and no order could be put on them now. Even if she tried. Even if I tried.
All is over with those pages, nothing will come of them.
I do not write to you of the past. But rather to tell you of the future.
This sickness, this disease that they say I have, will not keep me here forever.
Someone soon will send someone to safe me soon will send someone.
I can assure you.
There is much badness in the world, and believe me, I have contributed my fair share to it.
I have killed.
I have maimed.
But no more than most. I mean in the grand scheme of the human condition my actions will hardly count at all, in the last day, when the darkness will come and reckon with us again.
