𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃, 𝐓𝐎𝐌 𝐁𝐋𝐘𝐓𝐇

✦v.

coffee. with tom. it has to mean something. he asked to "catch up" as if the two of you hadn't talked for hours last night. it was nerve-racking, this feeling. you didn't like it. this feeling that you hadn't felt in such a long time. this feeling that you had to thoroughly pick out your outfit for coffee with a man. this feeling that you had to look your best. your mother had taught you that if a man truly cared about you, he wouldn't mind if you showed up in a t-shirt, or sweats, or both for that matter. if you wanted to dress up, you dressed up for you. that's what she taught you. after giving yourself that silent pep-talk, you felt much more confident as you parked and walked to the coffee shop. the parking in la was brutal, so it was quite a walk to actually make it to the coffee counter. 

when you did, it was no shocker that tom was already there.  he greeted you warmly, getting up to pull out your chair. you made your way out of the line to the table he had held. when you sat down with him, you decided today was not about talking, and more about listening. earlier this morning, you had truly realized how much he asks the questions, and you just answer. today, you were going to ask the questions. 

"so, should we get some coffee?" you asked. he nodded, but stopped you before you could get up. 

"i'll go get it. besides, if we both leave this table, it will be taken in the blink of an eye." you chuckled, and a smile appeared on his face. "anyways, what's your order?" you smiled at his generosity.

"oat milk latte, please." you watched his face become surprised. 

"no way, that's my order!" he explained. you smiled up at him, as he was already standing up, preparing to get in line. "that's crazy. but yes, oat milk latte, coming right up." and he was off. he got into the extensive line, which allowed you time to think. while the coincidence of you two having the same drink was sweet,  and it put a smile on your face, it also got you thinking. this entire time he had asked you the questions. maybe you had more in common with him, but you just didn't know yet, because he hadn't talked about himself. this made it even more obvious that you had to start asking the questions. if you were going to make this work, you had to know him, like, truly know him.  you decided to open up your notes app, and open your 'conversation starters' doc. you had made it so long ago, but it turned out to be useful. they were funny, and really did spark conversation. you had made it in college with your dorm mates, who contributed most of them. 

looking at them, you decided one one that you thought would be good: 'whats the drunkest you've ever been?' you glanced up again, seeing that tom was almost at the front. you adjusted your hair and scrolled on instagram until he finally got back to the table. 

"this better be the best coffee i've ever had for that wait." he said, as he plopped your drink down in front of you. you took a sip of it immediately, burning your tongue.

"ow!" you winced. you saw him get very concerned. 

"what? what?" he looked around. 

"i burned my tongue, dude." you responded. you could not feel your tongue at this point. you aren't sure why you decided to take a drink of the freshly brewed hot coffee, but then again, you weren't totally focused on the coffee. 

"yeah, why did you take a sip when it was just made three seconds ago? also, good to know. i'll let that sit for a while." he placed his cup down on his side. 

"shut up." you responded. you opened the lid to your coffee slightly, so that it would cool any faster. "anyways, i have this list of conversation starters and i've decided to test one out on you." you declared. he seemed to straighten his posture. 

"i feel like i should be scared, but go ahead." he cleared his throat and focused. 

"ok, the first one is: what's the drunkest you've ever been?" you asked. he ponded on it for a moment, most likely recalling all the parties and afterparties he'd been too. 

"ok, so there was this party when i was at college, and i swear the only thing i can tell you about it, was that police did in fact show up, and that's all i can remember, if you understand where I'm going." he answered. you laughed quietly. now it was your turn. your college years weren't really full of 'ragers'. besides, at that point you were multitasking college and an acting career. you really only had graduated two years ago. 

"let me see. the most drunk i've ever been...." you continued to think, and then tom suggested an idea. 

"the afterparty? at the la premier? from the looks of it, that was the drunkest you had ever been." he laughed at himself. but he was right, you weren't prone to passing out. you nodded. 

"that sounds about right." 

"i mean, when you passed out, no one could get you up. I mean, the party ended at like two in the morning, and you still weren't up again. rachel had already left, i was with josh, and we were just like 'what do we even do with you.' we tried to wake you up so you could uber home or something, but you were out." he kept explaining the details of what had gone on that night. people throwing up, the details of the karaoke, and everything you missed, which really was a shame. the party sounded really fun. 

"oh, so you and josh had a part in me waking up in a completely different vicinity than where i started out." you joked. he looked down into his lap, and smiled. 

"i would say i had more than just a part." he said, much quieter, and kind of to himself. 

"what do you mean?" you attempted to clarify. he looked up again, thought for a moment, and slouched back again. 

"who do you think managed to get you all the way home?" he said, a smile still on his face. you felt sick. you couldn't tell if it was a good feeling or a bad one. this man had gotten you into his car somehow, drove to your hotel, managed to find your room key, get you inside, lay you down on the couch, and provide food and water for you? it made you feel so, you weren't sure. no normal person would do that, but a friend would, but a lover would. which is why you couldn't decide what he intended by that. any ride or die friend would do that for you, but is that what you were? no, no it had to be the other option, but you weren't sure. and you definitely did not want to assume one or the other.

"are you joking? that was all..?" 

"yep. someone had to do it. also, you are surprisingly light." oh god. you felt like you were going to throw up. the butterflies in your stomach were worse than ever. 

"are you telling me that you carried me all the way to your car, then to my hotel room?"  you weren't sure what was even going on right now. it was so strange how much he had done for you, yet had barely ever dropped any hints. it was the cutest thing you had ever seen, but you felt insecure in deciding whether or not to assume he liked you, due to the lack of hints. 

you had never felt this mixed in your life. tom nodded in response to your question. 

"i can't believe this. um,  thank you. so much. i don't think anyone else at that party would have done that for me. " you decided to make sure he knew how you felt. 

"yeah. no one else had, like i said. it was me and josh. most people had gone home already." he confirmed. "speaking of parties, i am throwing one in a few days, and i want you there. I'm inviting some people that i think you will like. but just be warned that it's not going to be as formal as rachels." he asked. you didn't want to seem too excited, but you definitely said yes to fast. he then confirmed your invite. 

"so, is rachel going then?" you asked. he had brought up rachel's party, so it seemed appropriate  to ask. to your surprise, he shook his head. 

"no, its not really her thing. just you." he stated. jesus. 

"oh, ok. well, how do you know its my thing?" you made the snarky comment with joking intentions. he smiled.

"i guess we will just have to see."