PRINCESS [Charles Leclerc]

12. Doubts

It's been a month since I moved in with August. We got our own little apartment inside the palace house like my brother has. So at least I'm still close to my family. The formula 1 season also started and today Charles is coming back from Australia. We've been talking as much as we could. I want to surprise Charles so Ryan helps me to sneak out again. Ryan drives me to his flat.

E: Hey.

I smile softly as I open the door with my key walking straight into his apartment. Charles comes out of the kitchen and looks like he just saw a ghost. It makes me giggle.

C: Elisabeth? What are you doing here?

E: Surprise!

I open my arms after holding the key up. Charles runs into them lifting me up. Surprise was successful. I laugh as he spins me around.

C: I missed you.

E: I missed you even more.

I put my hand on his cheek, looking into his eyes. The butterflies are coming back alive as he gently puts his lips onto mine. I mumble into the kiss, asking if we're alone.

C: Maybe.

He lets go off me and walks into the living room. I follow him, knowing he's heating up the tension not wanting to go into making out immediately.

C: I could get use to you walking into my apartment.

E: How was the first races of the season?

C: Good, I won two times.

E: I know.

I grin. I've watched every single race of him even tho I had royal engagements. He looks at me surprised but happy to hear it.

E: I saw every race, but you need to explain me the rules.

C: I'll tell you everything you want.

He can't stop looking at me and walks over to me. I put my hands on his chest.

E: I get heart attacks. You need to be careful out there, okay?

C: I will take care. For you.

He smiles at me, moving my hair strain behind my ear. I lean into his hand, enjoy his touch on my skin.

C: I know you don't wanna talk about it, but how are you?

E: I don't know how long I can still take this.

I trust Charles. I know I can. I wish I could stay here with him forever. Charles knows I suffer, but he doesn't know how bad it really is. I wanna run away. I want to leave everything behind. I don't wanna be a princess anymore, because I don't go back. I don't want to go back. Never.
Charles raises my chin with his fingers making me look into his eyes.

C: You're the strongest person I've ever met. You can do it.

If he only knows. I wish I could be strong enough for this, but it breaks me apart. He knows he can't help me, even tho he wishes for it. I go a step closer to him, because I don't want to talk about this anymore. I put my arms around his neck and bite the corner of my lip.

E: Can't I just stay here forever?

C: I wish you could.

Charles eyes wanders to my lips. He slowly closes the gap between us, kissing me gently. We get more passionate as we love sharing this together. Charles lifts me up on the kitchen counter. My legs are wrapped around his hips. Charles has his hands on my neck kissing me harder. I start to take off his shirt. I stop kissing him.

C: Sorry I-

E: Sh.

I kiss him again, just wanting to look at these muscles of him. He looks so hot. I can feel his excitement in this shorts as he lifts me up to carry me over to the bedroom. He gently lays me down onto the bed. We don't stop kissing. I still have my legs around his hips, as he starts to lift up my dress to put his hand on my thigh. My body starts shaking. I don't know how to breathe anymore. Charles places kisses on my neck as he still lays on top of me. He wants to take off my dress as I hesitate and stop him.

E: Stop.

C: You okay?

He takes off his hands immediately. I feel bad because he think he did something wrong. But that's not it.

E: I never had- like- I never did this before.

C: I'm sorry, sure.

He goes off and lays next to me. I turn to him. That's not what I wanted.

E: No. Don't stop. I like what you did. I just don't know what to do..

I feel bad for it. He probably didn't expect the princess to never slept with someone before. I saved it. And I had to be careful with it.

C: But anyways, Elisabeth. You're the princess and engaged.

E: I don't care about him. I want you. I want it with you.

C: We can't, Elisabeth.

E: No one will care about it as long as I'm not getting pregnant.

He stares at the ceiling. August is really destroying my whole life. I can't be myself anymore. I feel the tears coming back in my eyes. I've never cried so much than in the last months. I'm hurt and feel like it will never stop again. I just wanna be happy.

C: I'm sorry.

He gets up and looks for his shirt. I lay back and close my eyes. That's it.