Falling for the Matchmaker [ Chaennie ]

Chapter 19 : Jennie

Jennie

"Orange scented oil and hot stones, where have you been all my life?" From beside me, Roseanne giggles.

"I know, it's great, right?"

My heart races hard at the sound of her laughter. It's such a nice sound. A sound I desperately miss on the days we don't get to spend together. My pulse starts drumming in my neck when I think about the crazy nice room upstairs. I know the room isn't that hot, and the rocks are cooling down on my skin, but I feel dangerously overheated. I'm anything but calm, despite the relaxing music overhead. It sounds like a rainstorm in here. I don't really like that. I didn't really like sticking my face in a hole in the table either, but I got used to it after a few minutes.

The ladies giving us massages, Tiffany and Yoona, are pretty much silent. They have been throughout the whole experience. It's left me and Roseanne free to talk, although we haven't said much either. I was scared to break the ambiance. I thought that talking might not be allowed. First came the massage with the oil that smelled like oranges, then came the hot stones. Now that we're basically just laying here with warm rocks on our backs, I guess that talking might now be acceptable.

"I can't believe I've never done this before." It's kind of strange talking down to the dark crevice and the shadowy floor below that.

"I think that maybe sometimes...we're scared to let ourselves try new things because we're actually afraid of being happy."

Roseanne doesn't really say impulsive things. She's more of a rational thinker. She's careful about things. So I know this isn't just some chance thing she decided to say. She's putting it out there for a reason, but why? Does she somehow know what happened to me in the past or is she just guessing that there is something? Maybe she's just talking about the massage. Maybe she's talking about herself. About how she never came out to anyone until now. About how she still hasn't come out to anyone else. I don't know that for certain. I don't know that she hasn't told anyone. I haven't asked. I figured she'd tell me if she told her family, but maybe she had talked to her friends. I'm scared to ask her. I'm scared to ask her because I'm scared that if I do, she'll become indecisive and that will be me pushing her. It's more than that, but I don't want to think about it right now. I just want to enjoy this massage. I want to enjoy our time away together. I don't want to be afraid of being happy.

"You know what I'd really like to try for dinner? French onion soup. I hope they have French onion soup."

"Oh, they have French onion soup," Roseanne's muffled voice assures me.

Some of the rocks get rearranged on my back. It's also weird to be naked from the waist up in front of strangers, but I guess if you do this for a living, a body is a body. Kind of like a doctor, maybe. For me it felt weird putting on the robe they gave us but then taking it off. Roseanne did it completely naturally. The oil and the rocks were worth it. I've really enjoyed this, I realize, as the rocks get shifted again. They're hardly warm now, so I'm sure that we're coming to the end of the massage. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I did enjoy it. I guess it did make me happy. Pretty soon we're left to get dressed again. Roseanne gives me a nervous, hesitant look as we exit the spa area.

"How was it? Was it okay?"

"Yeah! I loved it."

"I thought you might have liked part of it, but not other parts, and then you wouldn't consider doing it again."

"Some of it was weird, I guess, but that's okay."

"Some discomfort is okay with things, I find. I used to think that because something was uncomfortable that it wasn't okay, but I've learned that that's not really true. Especially with teaching. Learning actually makes lots of people uncomfortable. It challenges your perception of life and the world most of the time and for lots of people, even young people, that's really hard."

"Really? Do you find that?"

"All the time."

We walk down the dimly lit hall, which I guess I shouldn't call dim. I think it's supposed to be setting a certain mood, although with all that luxury, I wouldn't be afraid to shine spotlights all over the place.

"Really?"

I don't really understand what Roseanne means. I don't remember having my views challenged in science class in high school. I didn't take any science classes in college, but maybe there it would have. I definitely can relate when it comes to literature. Maybe that's what she means. Maybe because she's studied it in depth, she looks at things differently than most people. I can't really say it's the same for books. You don't need to be an English major or a writer or anything to read something and have it change your life.

"Yeah. I mean, because science is so fluid and changing. Even the smallest discovery can throw a lot of people into chaos."

"The medical community, you mean."

"I mean all of it. All new discoveries can feel threatening at first because it can challenge the basis of our very foundation." She turns to me and grins this self- depreciating grin, like she's laughing at herself. "Okay, I'm getting carried away. You don't want to hear about that, and I'm sure you get what I mean."

"I think so. I never thought about it that way. Why do I feel like I'm always saying that when I'm with you?"

She shrugs. "Maybe that's a good thing. I hope."

"It is." I reach for her hand. The lighting is low, but strangely enough, it illuminates some of the honey gold flecks in her dark brown irises that I've never even noticed before. I step in and place a kiss quickly to her cheek.

We're both surprised. I might say silly things, things I really haven't fully thought out, but I'm generally not really an impulsive person when it comes to affection. Roseanne stops walking. Her hand flutters to my jaw and tips my face up. She cradles my face gently. I close my eyes, intent on enjoying this moment. I don't want to think about anything else. I just want there to be this. Our lips meet. It's more than just a meeting of skin and nerves. This kiss feels like the most spectacular thing that's ever happened to me. There's the shivers and the tingling. The hard curl of desire, the shower of sparks and the savoring of her mouth. There's the softness and the firm press of her thighs against mine. There's the physical, and then there's the non-physical. The plane where I don't normally let myself exist. The emotional. The need. The connection. The way I feel like my heart and soul are reaching out to hers. Maybe this is what she means by something that can change the whole basis of our existence. My whole universe. I don't think I've ever kissed anyone without holding back, but I want to now, even though we're in the middle of a hallway, in the middle of a hotel.

A throat clears loudly at the end of the hallway. Roseanne and I break apart. Not guiltily and not quickly. Her hand stays cradling my face. Our bodies curl away, but she's still here. Still safe. Still burning. There's no one there. Whoever was standing there isn't there anymore, or maybe they were just walking through and since it's supposed to be a classy place, decided that people making out like teenagers in the hallway wasn't appropriate. Probably a staff member. Roseanne giggles like we are two teenagers who just got caught, but she's proud to be caught, not afraid or regretful. One brow curls up a little.

"Dinner?"

She still has her hand on my jaw. I'd like to tell her that I just want to go back up to the room and skip it altogether, maybe order room service as an afterthought, but her stomach growls loudly at the suggestion.

"Oh my god," I gasp. "Was that seriously your stomach?"

"I'm starved. I was waiting all day for this. Not just the food. But, you know. All of it."

"I do know. You knew what you were missing. I would have been looking forward to it too."

Her fingertips sweep over my cheek before she drops her hand and takes mine again.

"You'll come with me again? Let me treat you?"

"So far, so good, and I haven't even seen the pool yet." I'm not thinking about the pool. I think Roseanne knows that I'm not thinking about the pool. I don't think she's thinking about the pool either. I hope that the restaurant is fast. Sometimes fancy places are slow. It can take hours to get drinks and food. I hope that they're overstaffed and highly efficient. Roseanne's hand squeezes mine as she leads the way. I think she knows exactly how I feel.