Without You

Chapter 17

"JiYoon? JiYoon? JiYoooooooooon?" I hear someone say. I turn around and see Jungkook, waving his hand in front of my face. He pokes my shoulder and I turn my head to look at him. He smiles at me wide, and I just force one out. Ever since yesterday, I've been very awkward with him. He took me home, but we stayed silent. We didn't speak a word to each other besides "goodbye".

I think he could tell how awkward I felt because his smile went down a little and he faced forward in his seat.

"I hope you guys have been working on your projects and haven't forgotten about them. I know the new year is coming up very soon but you still have a project to do." Mr. Song shouts as he's doing art of his own, on a canvas.

I sigh in relief because Jungkook and I finished our projects already. We have almost a month of free time, in art at least. It sucks that I still have other work.

***

The class ended. Jungkook and I both stood up and looked at each other. We didn't say anything, but we both walked out the class at the same time.

As we were walking, Jungkook puts his hand on my shoulder and turns me to face him. I look at him and my heart starts beating fast.

"Yah! Jungkook!" I hear someone shout from behind him. We both look towards the noise and we see TaeHyung walking up to us. He looked angry. Jungkook removed his hands from my shoulder.

"Yeah hyung?" Jungkook says. TaeHyung reaches us and looks at me. He just keeps looking at me, until he finally scoffs and shakes his head.

"Jungkook, come here." TaeHyung says, grabbing Jungkook's wrist and pulling him a bit far from me. They both start talking and I'm just watching them. They catch glances at me and I can tell they're talking about me. I don't know why though.

They finally come back and TaeHyung looks more irritated than before. Jungkook breathes out.

"I have to go JiYoon." Jungkook says, forcing out a smile. He turns towards TaeHyung and they walked away. What is going on?

***

"You know, I know before I got mad at you for hanging out too much, and for never coming home right after school. But that's because I'm not used to it." My dad says to me during dinner. "I know before you would always tell me you have no friends so I got used to it. And I guess now that you have something to do and people to hang out with, even a boyfriend, I should start getting used to not coming home earlier or staying at home more like before. Just always text me where you are JiYoon."

I chuckle.

"Okay Dad. I promise. But I don't have a boyfriend anymore." I say. He swallows and raises an eyebrow at me.

"What happened? Just isn't working out?" he asks. I shake my head and exhale.

"He tried to, do it." I say. Rape is a word that I'm uncomfortable saying. My dad's eyes widen as he chews his food.

"What did you do?" he asks. I guess this is a conversation where he doesn't know what to say.

"I pushed him and ran away. He didn't do it, so that's good." I told him. He nods and tells me to be careful next time.

It stayed quiet for a few minutes.

"JiYoon, can I ask you something? And answer honestly because I'm your father." Dad says. I nod my head.

"When your mother and I were together, were you in some kind of depression?" he asks. My eyes slightly widen from shock and my heart started beating a bit faster. Why is he asking this? I end up just looking at him.

"It's because, look at you now. When we were together you never did anything. Your mother and I just argue a lot and you had to go through that. And I mean now, you're getting friends. I know you started getting them before we divorced but, just wondering." he says.

"Yeah. I kind of did." I answered him. He comes up to me and hugs me, kissing the top of my head.

"I'm sorry." he says. I feel tears forming in my eyes, but they don't fall. I smile at him and tell him it's okay.

***

"If you still want to have friends then you should hang with me." I hear someone whisper to me in my ears in art. I turn around to see who it was and it was YeJun. He smiled and walked away to his desk. I kept looking at him and he winks at me, and then turns to talk to his partner. What?

The bell rings for class and I look over to Jungkook's seat beside me, it was empty. Ditching again? Is he actually sick for once?

Since he wasn't there, art was boring. But even if he was here, we wouldn't be talking. I still don't know what to say to him. I'm so awkward towards him still.

***

I walk out of art and straight to the student store, just to get some snacks. As I was in line, I turn my head and I see TaeHyung and Jimin walking towards someone. TaeHyung turns his head towards me and rolls his eyes. Then he turns back and continues walking. Does he hate me? Why?

Jimin puts his hand on the person's shoulder and pats it. I can't see what's going on.

"Miss, are you going to buy something?" the staff lady asks me.

"Oh, yeah! Sorry." I say. I get two bags of candy and leave the line, but I still stare towards where TaeHyung and Jimin are.

The guy Jimin has his shoulder on, holds up someone's hand in front of him and kisses the back of it. My eyes widen when he turns his head towards Jimin to smile. It was Jungkook.

Jimin pats his shoulders again and walks away alone. TaeHyung stayed with Jungkook. I see Jungkook intertwine his fingers with the hand he was holding, and turns around towards the school gate, where I am. I see him holding his hands with a girl and my heart drops. TaeHyung spots me and he starts walking towards my way, Jungkook and I guess his girlfriend following after.

I recognize her. She's the one from the bubble tea shop.

TaeHyung bumps his shoulder against mine and keeps walking. I look at Jungkook and he doesn't even look over to me. He eyes stare straight in front of him the whole time. I look at them walk out and I'm just so lost and confused. What's going on? What's happening? Why does TaeHyung suddenly not like me?

"I'm telling you, if you want to keep having friends you should hang out with me." I hear YeJun say behind me. I turn around and he puts his arm around me. I shrug it off.

"Come on. They obviously don't want to talk to you anymore." he says, lifting up my chin. I turn my head and just walk away from him.

I leave the school and start walking towards home. I grab my phone and remembered that I have Jungkook's number.

"New girlfriend huh?" I text him. In a split second, he replies.

"Who's this?" it said. I stopped walking and just stared straight down at the text message. Tears form in my eyes and I don't know what to do. I sniff a little and look up. I turn around to look at the school and I see Jungkook and the girl leaning against the tree. I feel a tear fall.

Jungkook looks at me and I bite my bottom lip. I shake my head and I see him look straight down at his phone. Yes, that text was me Jungkook. As he looked back up at me, I turned around and just walked home.

***

Sitting in my room, wishing I had a lighter. I thought I had it still, but I remember Jungkook taking it away from my backpack in class.

I desperately need it right no. I just want to scream and yell and cry. Ha. Now that I realize it, I'm burning myself over something like Jungkook and YeJun. Before it was understandable. I was burning myself over my parent's fighting, over them not getting along. Now it's just over guy issues.

This is exactly why I didn't have friends in the beginning. You know what, I'm not going to burn myself over some guy who I said I really liked, but probably shouldn't. He is the bad boy of the school.

The only difference with this bad boy is, he knows my story and I know his. He actually cared if I hurt myself. Then why is he treating me this way, again?