The Tiyanak

The Victim

Ms Potts rubbed her hands together, much like everyone else did. It was colder today than usual, and the radiator seemed to be fighting a losing battle with the cold. As good as the church hall was for their meetings, they really needed to get that fixed if they were going to stay here. Some of the girls were wearing gloves indoors for crying out loud. Alicia herself forgot to bring gloves, so she had to use the pockets of her hoodie – which did about as much as you'd expect.

"All right, girls," Ms Potts said, "shall we make a start."

Everyone took a chair, with Ms Potts sitting in the middle. It was a fairly big group today, with some new faces. The youngest was about fourteen, the oldest around the same as Alicia. Though all from different backgrounds, they were united by a common thread – a thread that brought them all here to battle against.

"All right, let's join hands."

They did so, creating a circle within the circle.

"Repeat after me. It's not my fault."

"It's not my fault," the girls said in unison.

"I am not responsible."

"I am not responsible."

"I refuse to be a victim."

"I refuse to be a victim."

"I am ready to live again."

"I am ready to live again."

"Thank you, girls," Ms Potts said. "I see a lot of new faces, but also a lot of returning ones. That's good. It's never easy to face your fears – and it's even harder to face them again. I know that better than most. You all suffered, and we have suffered with you by hearing your stories. But together, we are stronger. And just you being here proves that we will not give into hate. We are going to go on with hope in our hearts and learn to love – and trust – again."

Any person could say a speech and make it sound motivational – but Ms Potts always seemed to believe every word she said. It was obvious why she was considered the best by many.

"Who would like to start?" Her eyes scanned the circle, but the girl's looked down. "Alicia?"

Alicia's shuffled in her chair, leaning back as far as she could go before the backrest halted her movements. She tried to avoid Ms Pott's gaze – always feeling uncomfortable each time their eyes met.

Alicia felt a soothing hand on her shoulder, which belonged to Sasha. "Go on," she said, "we're here for you."

When Alicia looked into Sasha's lovely brown eyes, her fear drifted away. Sasha could turn anyone from a frightened kitten to a lion with just her smile alone. Alicia smiled back, pushing her hair over her shoulder. She breathed in through her nose and tried to smile. Alicia felt embarrassed smiling, but people said she had a lovely smile. She took another breath and pushed out her nerves, trying to speak as clearly as she could.

"It's been... a while since... well, since I felt like talking about it... Um... I... It's never easy to... easy to..." She paused a moment.

"Go on," Ms Potts said.

Alicia wiped the under of her nose, where snot was beginning to form. "I wonder... I just, think about, did I make the right choice? I mean, Eighteen's too young to be a mum, right? It just, didn't feel right; and given the circumstances... But I think... was I wrong?" She held her breath for a few seconds, letting it out with a puff. "But then, I think of the reason why and... and..." She held it together for a moments, before forcing the tears out.

Ms Potts said nothing, neither did the other girls. The policy in the group was that no one spoke whilst others were sharing their story. Sasha passed Alicia a tissue to wipe her eyes, which she did so, smudging what little makeup she had put on today. Alicia knew that others had stories to tell, and didn't want to hold them up, so she kept it as short as possible.

"Anyway, that's all I wanted to say, thank you."

The others applauded Alicia as if she had just won a lifetime achievement award. "Thank you for sharing that with us, Alicia," Ms Potts said. "And you're right to feel that. It's never easy to make that sort of decision, particularly after such a traumatic experience. Do you mind me asking, have they set a court date yet?"

"Erm," Alicia wiped her eyes, shuffling in her chair again, "the-the police s-s-say that, um, they're still investigating."

"For fuck's sake, what's taking them so long?"

"Sasha, please refrain from using language like that."

"Sorry, Ms Potts," Sasha apologised. "I just get so angry when scumbags get away with it."

Alicia knew that Sasha's anger stemmed more from her own experience. Sasha's attacker had escaped justice and she was still furious. Still, she was as supportive of Alicia as any friend could be, and she was so glad that she had her in her life.

"This group was not made to pass judgement on others," Ms Potts told her sternly. "Don't give into your anger, Sasha. If you do, then you're just making the pain worse."

Sasha nodded. "Sorry for swearing, Ms Potts."

"Apology accepted," Ms Potts replied. "Alicia, is there anything else you want to add?"

"No," Alicia replied, "I'm good."

"Thank you, Alicia," Mrs Potts said. The group clapped once again, Sasha lightly rubbed Alicia's shoulder. "Anyone else want to share?"

At least three embolden hands went up at once. "Blimey, Alicia you've started something here. Maybe I should ask you to talk first in the future."