Strawberry & Cigarettes

Chapter 42 - A Step Closer..

Xaliana pov -

I walked inside my house and put my stuff down. I just feel so gloomy already. This house has no light. And when I say light I mean a soul.

I walked into our room tired and just like that I regretted it. There he was. Ayaan sitting on the bed like he was waiting for me. I sighed and slightly loosened my hijab.

"Salam.." I said under my breath and he didn't reply to that. Rude.

"I need to talk to you." I hate his infamous talks. It's sickening and it gives me a bruise sometimes. So let's not have a talk. "About?" I said with a low uninterested tone and folded the cloths that were lying on the floor.

"Let's have a child. It's time."

My hands stopped working and I can feel my body physically drain from those words. These are words I fear the most. I would put myself in danger to get out of his hands and this situation.

I pray everyday to Allah that this day never comes. But we can't control what happens in the future for us.

"Ayaan..n-not now." I can already feel my hands and feet loose oxygen. It's as if I'm going to have a panic attack or my blood pressure lowered.

"WHEN!" He stands up in anger. He's already mad and I didn't even say anything. I dropped the cloths when he stepped closer to me angrily.

"You break my heart when you say no! What's wrong with me! Do you not get turned on?"

I basically chocked on my spit when he said that. How disgusting. Ya Allah forgive me. But you know what. Yes. You don't affect me instead you make me want to puke. Why should I carry your children when all you do is put your disgusting hands on me?

"Break your heart? What about me? You brake me physically and mentally and you're complaining because you can't be inside of me? Go pray!"

His face turned all red in anger. He pushed me harshly against the wall and forced my mouth to shut with his hands. I struggled to get them off but he held tightly.

"I don't care anymore." He took his other hands and placed it at the top of my hijab and forcefully took it off. I continued to struggle as warm tears run down my cheek. I can't breathe.

My chest was going up and down and I was wheezing for air like I'm going to get a panic attack. Nope, I already have. That didn't stop him. He reached for the zip at the back of my dress and I struggled with all my might.

He threw me on the bed and took my dress off forcefully. I took the opportunity to bite his hand and he let me go wincing in pain. I then kicked him as much as I can. He groaned in pain and gets off of me.

I quickly stood up and took any type of object and that was a pillow and held it infront of me. Tears were rapidly falling and my skin was pale. I'm surprised I'm standing. I can't feel my legs or arms. My heart is too sensitive for any of this.

"I SAID NO!" I yell at the top of my lungs and he put his hands up. "Ok shh..calm down darling." I let a sob out at that. I'm not his darling or love. "You're my enemy." I whispered in a shaky tone.

"Listen to me..shhh." I let a sob out and held the pillow tightly with my weak hands. "One child. It has to be a boy. Then we won't anymore."

Carrying his child means I'm officially his. I don't want that. I don't want to be anything with him. I don't want a part of him living in my stomach.

"Shh..why the sad face? Wallah I don't understand you. I'm so nice to you. I give you everything. A house! Food! Love! And you do this to me in return?!! This is cruel."