When The Song Changes

Part 1

Felix's palms were sweating as he waited for his turn to be interviewed. Of course he was still friends with Changbin. Still spent time with him. But there had been a distinct change in their relationship the past couple of years. And now that "2 Kids Room" had been filming once more, it was inevitably his turn with Changbin again. With Minho as their MC of all people. Minho who had been called Captain of the Changlix ship by fans. Just like Changbin was for the Minsung ship. Except Minho and Jisung's relationship was still alive and well. While Changbin and Felix's relationship had...well... changed.

Felix was determined to keep himself together on camera. As expected, he would still touch Changbin as usual but he would be careful to watch his words. In the past Felix had been beyond open about his admiration and affection for Changbin. He had even confessed that he couldn't live without Changbin on camera before. Yet that was then. And he felt a sort of embarrassment when he thought of how openly smitten he had been in the past. He couldn't bear to see himself fawning over Changbin in their old videos. Not because he felt differently but because of how things were now.

Felix could remember all too easily how he felt when he first met Changbin. How safe he felt. Protected. Felix knew the others viewed him as innocent and fragile and he didn't mind it in the past. He liked being looked after, taken care of. He liked how soft the others could be with him. Especially Changbin. There was just something about Changbin that gave off a masculine aura. Felix's tendencies towards androgyny and femininity (despite his voice and the stage presence he had grown over the years) had gravitated towards his opposite immediately. Changbin was strong, talented, confident and powerful. And Felix liked it even more that behind that tough exterior, Changbin was really just a sweet, caring teddy bear full of love and playfulness. But at some point Felix didn't want to be seen as innocent and fragile anymore. Didn't want to play the foil to Changbin's strength. He stopped viewing his fragility as an endearing quality and instead found it to be a weakness. He didn't know when exactly that shifted but suspected it was around the time Changbin started pulling away and redirecting his attention. Felix didn't want to be soft and sad. A broken child that needed comforting. Not when the one he looked to for comforting had pulled away. So Felix changed. Hardened himself. Not just to Changbin, but to the world. Felix resolved himself not to need Changbin anymore. He didn't need Changbin. Didn't need anyone.