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Chapter 2 : Papaw

Everyone has grandparents they might not be close or love them but they have them. I have four grandparents that I'm close and love. Tomorrow marks my papaws birthday but he's not here to celebrate it. It's the first year he hasn't been here and it's going to be hard. I'm sorry if any of you are going through the same thing.

I have a wonderful Mamaw who lost her soulmate last January and is reliving the death this year. I love her and I'm trying to help her but it's hard to help when you're struggling yourself. She's a strong, Stubborn, and independent woman. I hope she can make it through this.

My mom lost her dad, her only father figure. It broke her heart I could tell. She watched him suffer for months because he had kidney failure then had to go on dialysis. He had to have an open heart surgery twice and took so many medications attack which killed him. They tried to save him...

They did three times and they gave my mom and my mamaw the choice to leave him on tubes or take him off. My mom said "he wouldn't want that" my mom came home with stained makeup I could tell he had died. I started crying and hugging her. The worst was I felt so guilty the day before he died I had a winter guard competition. He was sick and my grandma offer to stay home but he told her to go with me.

I still feel guilty to this day but I feel like he's with me when I perform. At least that's what makes me feel better. I just wish I could've actually went to his funeral. I had Covid when his funeral was going on and couldn't say goodbye. I wrote a letter for the priest to read. My mom said "it made everyone cry in the church"  I said "I just wish I could've been there." She said "I know I know"

We were both crying and hugging. We probably shouldn't have been hugging since I had Covid. My mom and I packed a bag and went to stay with my mamas. After a couple days we convinced my Mamaw to move in with us. She didn't want to leave the place that they had lived in for so many years.

We lived in an apartment for awhile then we bought a big house in the suburbs. We made it our dream house it took a lot of work but it was worth it. The only thing that was missing was him. We'll never forget him and we'll always miss him.

He loved board games, Volkswagen Beetles , and hats. He was a truck driver before he retired then he got sick. The reason he only had one kidney was he was in a telephone pole accident. He fell off of one and punctured one of his kidneys. He's always been one of my best friends when I want to play he plays.

When I was upset he asked why I was upset. When I was doubting myself he would tell me that I was the most wonderful girl in the world. We would watch game shows together and I would tell him about the guys I was talking to.

I also have a nanny which I'm surprised I still talk to. She's my biological dad's mom and she still wanted to talk to my brother and I after the divorce. My personality is really like hers we get a long a lot. My biological dad doesn't speak to any of us anymore. 

Here's a small family tree

Bob(don't talk) - Nanny  Mamaw-papaw   Tommy
(Biological dad) Roman^Nikita(Mom)^joey(dad

A/N - the photo is left to right Tommy, author, Joey, Mamaw, Austin (brother), mom, and Papaw