mind game // johnjae

𝒐𝒏𝒆

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please make sure you've read the tags!
warnings for this chapter: rape, voyeurism, stalking, obsession, somnophilia, drugging

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Johnny has always been an envious person. He could always have better, do better, be better; and everyone else always outdoes him. He tries his best, it's not like he doesn't try, but his best isn't good enough.

His whole life, he's always been compared to those better than him—by his friends, his teachers, his family, his parents—everyone. He just couldn't catch a break. The person his parents most frequently compared him to the most was his childhood "friend", Kim Hayoon. The "friend" is in quotation marks because he's never seen her as a friend, only a rival; someone to envy. Although, Johnny knows for a fact that Hayoon definitely sees him as a friend.

They were neighbours, their families were close, so Johnny was around her a lot. Johnny would always force a smile and pretend to be her friend, all the while hearing her parents brag about how amazing and smart she was, and watching his parents send him scathing glares his way because he was nowhere near her level.

Hayoon was a sweet girl, always jumping to Johnny's defence, always listening to him vent, always telling him he's amazing and his shitty parents attitudes will never change that. Johnny really had no reason to hate her, but he does.

Johnny tried everything to beat her, to be better than her at something, anything; but he never could. She got high scores in everything, took the harder classes, got into a prestigious university—all the while Johnny barely passed high school, and ended up going to a trade school to become an electrician.

His parents are still hounding him for not doing better, for not being better. But hey, he makes decent money as an electrician. And he does photography gigs on the side.

Johnny wouldn't say he's happy with his life, but he's content.

Hayoon stayed in contact with Johnny over the years, talking every so often to keep him updated on her life. She graduated med school and became a doctor (something Johnny's parents once again hounded him for), and as of recently, has just married her university boyfriend.

Johnny never looked at her socials. He didn't want to feel even more envious of her than he already does, so he just ignores her existence as much as possible. Hayoon did ask Johnny if he could take pictures of her wedding, but Johnny was in the US at the time and couldn't. Not that he wanted to anyway. Her getting married was just another aspect of her life to be envious of.

Johnny has never been in a relationship. He's looked from afar, but never acted upon anything. Hayoon always had good-looking boys after her attention in high school, which had Johnny jealous of the attention she was receiving.

He certainly had found some fellow students attractive, he didn't care about the gender. But, none really caught his eye. Johnny wouldn't say he's 'picky' per se, but he has standards.

Which is why when he first lays his eyes on Hayoon's husband he feels his world stop. He never thought he'd ever lay eyes on someone so ethereal, so beautiful, in his lifetime. Yet, sitting across from him in the brightly lit cafe, large hand entwined with Hayoon's across the table from him, sat the most pulchritudinous and elysian human being he's ever seen.

Hayoon was all smiles as she introduced her husband of nearly one year to her childhood "friend"—Jeong Jaehyun. Johnny couldn't even hide his awe as his eyes drank in the other man's otherworldly visage, wondering how on earth Hayoon managed to find someone as alluring as him.