Tender Hearts (Joel/reader)

chapter 5

Y/N pov

I managed to avoid Joel's knocks again, asking me to come over for dinner and eventually fell asleep on top of my covers.

I awoke the next morning when a strange feeling in my gut. The same feeling I got around men that couldn't be trusted.

Danger.

Looking around, I didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. The boogeyman wasn't popping out of my closet and the monsters under the bed had probably choked to death on the dust bunnies under there.

Voices from outside got me up and over to my window, making a small slit in my curtains and peeking out. Joel and Sarah were standing in the driveway, talking to their other neighbors. I didn't know them very well but they were always polite to me and even gave me cookies whenever I'd pass by.

Joel looked up at window, making me glad he couldn't see me. He seemed to search for any sign of life and his shoulders slumped when he didn't find it. But I notice him tense really quick when my dad pulls up in the driveway. Dad was still sour about the fight and he definitely kept his promise when I finally got home. I noticed dad stumbled, not like a drunk stumble either but like he was genuinely unsteady on his feet and made his way to the front door, cussing when the chain caught.

Cussing, I quickly ran down and undid the chain, preparing myself for the yelling but it didn't come. He just moved passed me and into the house. I heard a quick whistle before I could shut the door and turned around. Sarah was in the truck with Tommy and Joel was still at the back, he waved to me and I gave him a tight lipped smile back. With a quick wave, I shut the door and followed the sounds to my dad.

"Hey kiddo." His voice was raspy

"Hey dad, you ok?" I took a hesitant step towards him

"I'm ok." He chuckled

"Come sit with me." He said abruptly

Before I could answer, he was heading towards the living room and out of sight. I went after him and found him sitting on the couch, patting the spot next to him when he seen me. Wondering what was going on, I took a seat next to him and folded my hands in my lap.

"Believe it or not kiddo but I do love you. And I'm sorry that I've been so shitty at that." He blurted out

"What?" My eyes were wide

"Ya know, when you're mom found out she was pregnant, I was so scared. We were only 19 and 18, no idea what to do or how to do it but eventually we figured it out. Then your mom got started saying you're a girl and started going on about bows and pink dresses and it actually made me happy. I imagined my little princess, you, and she was prefect, just like you are. And then you were born and you had me wrapped around your finger within a second when you looked at me. All it took was one glance and I was over the moon for you." He sniffed

"Then came the day, I'll never forget. A man came to the door, some druggie, at that point, I had never touched liquor, I had promised myself I wouldn't become my mother and up until that point, I had succeeded. But this fucker, he waltzed right in like he owned the place and asked where you were. And I remember being so confused and upset, even told him he had the wrong house till he mentioned your mom. He said that she told him, if he gives her free drugs, he can have his kid back. He was talking about you, like you were his and not mine and I flipped. I beat the shit out of him and tossed him into the street like the rat he was." He lit a cigarette, the curls of smoke dancing around us

"I confronted your mom about it, pissed beyond belief and she denied it and denied until she said she wasn't sure if you were mine or not. She started doing drugs after getting hooked on the pills after her c section with you and I snapped. Went down to Mary's bar and drank myself into a jail cell. Eventually we got DNA involved and found out that you're indeed mine, but by then, the damage was done. I was a changed man and not even your love could change that." He was crying