i love me my canadian man! 18+ fanfiction

chapter 3 - i can hear wigglyear drums banging those booty cheeks

"b-but dad! this is MY wife!" said xander. "nuh uh son. i will take my mummy wife and eat her OUT like the local taco bell featuring long john silvers with lil nas x sitting on the roof singing old town road!" replied kirk, xanders daddy waddy.

ember just started going out with big real fnaf chunky loving preston earwiggles or whatever. suddenly, the popular boy, cotton swab, came up and said "you're so fnaf!" "what does that men" replied preston earwiggles. then, connor ran away. preston loves ember so much, that he even dedicated his emo hair by getting ember's lice.

colby and maci walk up to preston and big belly ember. "twatty twinks!" said colby. "fucking fat twats!" also said maci. suddenly, the other person in the group, asher, went up and said the biggest thing of them all. "fuck a paper dildo, you porn bryan stars!" preston was in shock, that he picked lice out of his hair, and threw them into asher's hair.

asher ran away, screaming to the nearest store to get lice treatment. preston giggles to his husband, and they finally get glizzys at the nearest hot dog stand.

colby and maci stand there, wondering wtf they just saw. "ermm.. that was derpy!" said colby. maci then replies "let's bail and eat the fish in the tank at the chinese restaurant ."

xander finally fights off his father by picking at his skin until he bleeds more playdough. illa pulls out something from her butt pocket. "this is for you.. for saving me" illa pulls out opened slime. it wasn't even in a container. it's purple, glittery slime that is being held up by duct tape and thorns. she even put a little band aid on it. it was a my little pony band aid, with fluttershy on it. it was passed down generation from generation, starting with her great great great great great great grandmere. "u-i-we-uhmm-dildoes—i- i love it!"

after asher treats his hair, he's so happy that he runs out in the middle of the street, just to get hit by my math teacher, mr krim. he runs over asher, and he goes flying out the windshield with his big potbelly. he got rushed to the hospital and got charges, while asher's funeral was held in the mcdonald's the next day. he requested one song. and that song was "7/11 by jake webber."

throwback to mr krim, his belly was deflated from the car crash, that he ended up looking like tammy from a thousand lbs sisters. mr krim went to asher's funeral, with his love for children. he banged asher, and everyone called the police. he was now charged with necrophilia, and pedophilia. he was facing life in prison, and was executed.

colby and maci ate the fish at the restaurant, and ended up getting salmonella. they both landed in the hospital, with only colby surviving because legends never die. maci's funeral was held in the school gymnasium. colby attended the funeral, eating cake. maci's possessions were given to colby. she had an iphone 1s (which mr krim ate) she had a dog bone, and a emo choker (that colby ate)

end of chapter 3.