Thomas brodie Sangster imagines book 1

My love (Newt)

Authors note: I warn people who read this it has suicidal content.  If you need help call 

lifeline  Australia 13 11 14 to help with suicidal prevention.  Also this is placed in the SAFE HAVEN.

Y/N's POV

I trudged away from the situation slamming my door shut.  I collapsed on my bed hugging my pillow tightly to my body as I whimpered.  Why does Newt have to always be so protective over me? I get it I'm his girlfriend but why can't he just leave me be for once.

My thoughts were interrupted by feet stomping in my hut "I'm taking these..." Newt stormed in taking his boxers and other things he'll need.  I was frustrated, but why would he leave me?  I felt like begging him not to leave me but i had to be strong 'be strong Y/N' a continuous mantra that I played in my head.  

I ignored him, turning my back to him not having the urge to speak to him "well, goodbye Y/N", I still didn't speak trying to hide my cries stuffing the pillow in my mouth "fine, ignore me".  Newt spoke with spite lacing through his voice.  And he left me just like that...didn't have the care in the world...

*TIMESKIP*

It's been a few days and I still hadn't gone out of my hut.  I just stayed in one spot, letting the darkness swallow me whole, I didn't have a care in the world right now.  For all I know Newt probably moved on without me.

On cue, as I kept sinking in my depressive thoughts, their was a knock at my door.  disregarding it till "hey it's me".  As soon as he spoke, I knew exactly who it was.  Once I opened the door Thomas stood in front of me engulfing me in a hug "are you okay?  You haven't been out since...", I'm guessing he knew all what happened with Newt and I, that's why he paused his sentence.  

All I could do was sit on my bed and cry...I sniffed wiping my nose on my jacket along with the tears that I've cried.  Thomas sat on my bed and all he did was hug me, he didn't know what to do.  He didn't know how to help a helpless girl, who just missed her boyfriend so much...

Its been a few days and Thomas came to check on me every know and then trying to feed me, he even brought Minho a few times.  I didn't talk.  I didn't listen... I just stared at one spot the whole time, no giving a care in the world.  I thought for a second wondering what Newt could be doing.  But then again I got pushed back into the darkness again, the evil that vitiated my thoughts.

'Newts probably moved on not caring.  And doesn't even care about me anymore...maybe if I just disappear...forever, maybe all the pain would go away'.

Newts POV

I pulled weeds out in the garden throwing it on my pile that continued to grow.  Sweat trickled down my head to the side of my face, forcing myself to wipe it away.  my thoughts then focused on something else, that invaded my head 'Y/N'.  Minho told me yesterday after he went into her hut with Thomas to see how she was doing.  And they both came back to me telling profusely to do something, because she wasn't doing well at all.  I couldn't deny that I wasn't worried about her...because I really was.

Ever since Y/N was gone I would wake up and begin to shake repeatedly.  waking up without her was a big change, hearing shuck face, Minho, snoring like there was no tomorrow didn't help.  I continued to pull the weeds, standing up to stretch my back for a bit.  My hands began to tremble, my heart began to race.  My thoughts got disrupted by people shouting for lunch.  'maybe I should go get Y/N'.

I jogged to her hut, quickly knocking on her door but didn't hear a thing, I knocked on it once more...nothing.  Panic began to rise, my hands started to quiver, my heart beat jumping out of my chest.  You know what fuck it...