Reaper Society

Chapter 30: Swaying Sleep

jolt upright, screaming and scrabbling to get away from the place I was just in. My nails are belatedly scraping at my skin, as if that will get rid of the horrific feel of violation still pressing phantomly into it. Before I can get more than a few scratches into my own skin, however, strong hands grip my wrists and keep me from scoring more welts into my skin. I thrash against the hold, praying that the creature from the depths of Hell hasn't followed me back here-

"Nia," Asher's raspy voice shuts me up, leaving me gasping and looking for those glowing red irises that bore into me. Asher's eyes are glowing bright red, beacons that soothe me the instant I see them. A choked sob escapes my throat, my whole body relaxing and sinking back into the mattress.

I really am back in Reaper HQ, the starry sky of my ceiling framing the wild ends of my mentor's dark brown hair and olive skin. I shiver as his grip tightens on my wrists, his eyes continue to search mine, some tight expression twisting his features into a mask.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Asher asks me when my choppy gasps have smoothed out a bit. I swallow, wincing as my aching throat stings. To my horror, my eyes begin to burn, pin-pricks of heat and pain shooting their warning as my tear ducts activate and my vision swims. I shut my eyes and shake my head, unable to articulate everything without wanting to scream or cry...or both. I could probably count on one hand the number of times I've cried. Crying never got me anywhere, I learned that lesson when I was a kid.

Focusing on those darker times seems to help. I recall that I've gone through things and come out the other side. I've dealt with my fair share of shit. I don't let the world batter me or kick me down. I get back up. I get the fuck up and face the fucking music.

"I had a nightmare," I finally mutter the words aloud, swallowing repeatedly to try and soothe my throat. Asher's hands loosen their death grip on my wrists and I open my eyes, gazing up at him still leaning over me from his spot beside me on the bed. "But," I hesitate, the blur of tears filling my eyes again. I pause, breathing deeply and exhaling the air on a ragged sigh. "It didn't- it felt so fucking real." I admit, my fear gripping my heart and squeezing every organ in my body.

I shudder as I remember the disgusting feel of that aura attempting to coat mine, sink into me.

"You never left this room," Asher tells me quietly, his eyebrows drawing together as his campfire and s'mores scent spikes in intensity and his skin pales a bit. "But your aura-" He stops talking at my wide-eyed look of horror. I fight his hold, as if to reach out to my own aura and feel for the corruption.

Asher holds me steady, his thumbs rubbing electric heat into the insides of my wrists.

"Easy," He murmurs to me in that hypnotically honey-laced tone that seems to be pouring heat into my body. Unlike the disgusting feel from the embodiment of Evil, Asher's aura is calming as it wraps around me. The feel of it lightly draping over me, not trying to invade me, but become blanket like and surrounding me in the most glorious feeling... My body grows hot with a different sort of heat, the dazed emotion has me breathing erratically as my muscles clench and my thoughts go from frightened to lascivious. "Relax," Asher encourages, slowly releasing my wrists and sitting up beside me. "Take a few deep breaths and explain." His voice goes back to being rough and raspy. Another shiver rolls through me, but this time it's not because I'm thinking of the nightmare.

"I..." I swallow and move to mirror him, slowly sitting up and turning so we're only a foot apart. I have the urge to jump him and tackle him to the incredibly soft mattress, to loose myself in him- "I had this nightmare, before I..." I force the words out to distract from my suddenly too-hot body and the pounding beat of my heart and those tingles electrifying each of my nerves. "It was always the same," I continue, not allowing my mind to go back to those awful memories, but skim over to when it all changed. "It wasn't until I came here that it was different." I swallow against the lump of fear stretching my throat and making my last word thicker than I wanted. "I felt...it was just different." I sum up with a shake of my head. "And then right now," I shudder, rubbing my bare arms where goosebumps have rises to pebble my skin. "It was so awful, so real-"

"Your aura is dimmer than it should be." Asher tells me when I don't say anything else, his nodding and the way he tips his chin out of the air above my head. "It appears to be a normal coloration and I do not sense anything wrong with it," He adds when I stare at him. I suck in a deep breath and nod, relief making my shoulder sag. "However, the fact that it is dimmer means you must have expended a large amount of power." His prompting words poke at me and I squirm against the urge to spill every detail of the nightmare, no matter how horrific.

"We," I take another, longer, deep breath and decide to bite the bullet and spew my last question. "Can we get pulled into Hell?" Asher's face pales, his tribal tattoos rising to the surface of his skin and solidifying as his bright red eyes go feverishly bright. The campfire and s'mores smell earns another level of intensity, and my mouth starts to water. A mental image of us lying beside a fire, naked and alone, with only each other to keep warm makes my head spin, my breath whooshing out of me as the wildness of the imaginary scene expands.

"Nia," Asher growls at me. I blink, banishing the gutter scene, but the damage is done. I shift uncomfortably in place, looking away from the intense stare Asher's using on me, and pretending I wasn't just imagining sex with my mentor. I hear Asher breathe in through his mouth, as if tasting the air. An unexpected thrill rolls up my spine and I swear my cheeks get even hotter. My skin's tingling with desire and I'm trying real hard to keep myself from reaching to soothe the growing ache. "Nia," Again, I hear his voice becoming lulling with that added honey in his tone. It stokes the inner fire of desire blazing within me.

"Answer my question." With an incredible effort, I manage to keep my voice from getting husky or too breathy. It's oddly empowering to order my own mentor to do something.

"Not exactly," Asher replies after a too-long pause. He shifts in place, as if he's as uncomfortable as I am. When I'm strong enough, I look at him, noticing the tattoos and paleness has receded from his skin and his eyes are the only different things about him now. They're unnaturally bright and hot, burning me as I meet them, but not in a bad way. They're like hot chocolate rather than a pit of lava, they should be hot and fierce, lulling and comforting. All of it at the same time, heady. I blink, making sure to banish the direction of my earlier thoughts and focus on his words.

"That's not an answer." I tell Asher. He lets out a heavy breath and closes his eyes before tipping his head up towards the infinite cosmos above. His full lips move soundlessly, like he's praying or cussing. Really, I wouldn't be surprised by either.

"Physically, we belong to the Celestials. We are part Celestial being, in a sense." Asher begins, tipping his chin back down to meet my eyes with his suddenly reddish-brown one. "But that doesn't mean Reapers can't be swayed to the other side. Swaying can include anything from physical to spiritual. Dreams are part of that."

"Nightmare," I bite out sharply, my normal anger flooding back into me as his too-human eyes look back at me. "It wasn't a 'dream'. That implies it was good and not terrifying as fuck." I hiss, clenching my fists against the strike of fear that comes with recalling the nightmare.

"Whatever you choose to call it," Asher allows, nodding slowly as his somber eyes trace over the lines of my face. "Yes, it is possible that a Reaper could be...summoned into the Pit. But it isn't real. Not in the sense that your body could ever go there. Only your soul could." His grimace is part reflex and part realization that he just gave me the answer I was dreading.

I tilt back, my head swimming with this realization. It was real. It wasn't a nightmare, but a real thing that actually happened. I was in Hell. And whatever the fuck is going on, one thing is clear: something down there is not happy that I left.