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Lyric Amari Diaz
I sighed heavily as Jay got in the shower. I didn't want to sit around my mind had been restless for a while now. I swapped out the laundry that was in the washer and dryer and threw Jays uniform in the washer and put her boots away. I heard nothing but the shower running as I drank my cup of water. I sat on the couch in a a daze until she was done. When she came out she was in a black sports bra and a pair of gray sweatpants. I tried not to stare but it was easy to tell she had no boxers on as you can usually see the edge of them. They hung loosely off her hips only showing skin. I had memorized most of her tattoo's but there was a new one across her stomach I had never seen. When I was done observing I met her eyes which were bloodshot red and puffy as if she had been crying. She played it off with a smile. I gave her one back just as fake as the one I received.
"Do you want to talk now?" I asked cautiously almost as if the building would crumble if I said it any louder. She shook her head and came and plopped next to me on the couch. I was afraid to touch her but why? We had always been physically affectionate was it the journal that changed my perspective on it or was it the fragile state she was in. Her mom passed away about six months ago, this is not the first time something like this had happened but this is the first time I've felt conflicted on how to comfort her. I was confused on a lot of things but one thing for sure and two things for certain is I did not want the dynamic of our relationship to change. "Come here." I held my arms out towards her and she looked at me then hesitantly scooted towards me. She laid her head in my lap facing the tv. My fingers found their way to her hair and I played in it occasionally rubbing her ear which I know she loves. I could feel her breathing hitch and I could tell she was crying. To be honest I had never seen Jay cry. It took me by surprise and I didn't know what to say or do. My hands moved to her back as I leaned over to look at her. "Bookie what's wrong." I spoke in a soft voice and she shook her head wiping her face.
"I miss my mom bro and I hate the way we fought as I got older I feel like everything my fault bro." She completely broke down and I pulled on her shoulder making her roll over. I ran my fingers down the side of her face and her ear.
"It's not your fault boo everyone's time comes your mom went when y'all had a great relationship and she was ready you can't change anything about the past." I wiped the tears from her face and she turned again burying her face in my stomach. I ran my fingers over the shaved part of the back of her hair as she cried. After a while her breathing changed and she had stopped crying. I could tell she was awake, she kept rubbing her feet together and sniffling but she was calming down. Tears swelled up in my eyes as I thought about how long she had been holding that in and how she felt. I wanted her to heal and be happy more than anything because I saw she deserved it. She catered to everyone around her and nobody showed up for her when needed. "Jaylin." I said her name. I never used her full name but this was no casual moment.
"Hm?" She sniffled but didn't move.
"Have you ate today?" I asked her and she shook her head.
"I'm not hungry." She argued and I argued back before getting up to make something to eat. She was running very low on groceries and it was already 7.
"Come to the store with me you need groceries." I told her leaving the kitchen and walking back to her. She had sat up on the couch and I stepped between her legs pulling her chin making her look at me. She pulled her chin away and looked me up and down then back at my eyes for a moment there was no sadness it was a look I had never seen before. It wasn't the jealous look I thought I had witnessed in the earliest hours of today but a look of lust. I couldn't ignore the pit I had developed in my stomach. She fiddled with her fingers as if she was holding something in. I took a step back and she got up. When Jay stood up she was much taller than me. I was only 5'2 and Jay stood at 5'9. I was no longer looking down at her but up. The look of lust had vanished and by the way she avoided eye contact I could tell it had turned into embarrassment or something of the sort. I took a step back and she opened her mouth then closed it. "What?" I asked looking at her.
"I'm sorry for wasting you're day." She said and I frowned.
"Don't do that." I told her shaking my head. "Go put sum clothes on and come on Jay." I told her and she didn't reply she just went in her room and came out with a hoodie on. She had a different look on her face though.
