We are adults!

Carbon Dioxide

Today, my children got to learn some science features. It wasn't that enjoyable as I hoped, but it was... something.

"Give me back my phone!" My teenage daughter, Marissa yelled at her sibling, Mary-Lee.

"No! I need to show mom something!" Mary-Lee replied.

"Seriously?! Nobody likes science, it's BORING!!!"

Mary-Lee showed me something, "Did you know Carbon Dioxide comes from plants?!"

"No, duh," Marissa scoffs, "what's so interesting about that?"

"Plants are the reason humans exist."

Then, Marissa snatches back her phone. She then gets out of the Google page and goes back on Snapchat.

"So, girls," I start speaking, "how did we do on our tests?"

"Oh... our tests?" Marissa repeats.

"Yes, did you two get a good score?"

"I did, Marissa was on Snapchat." Mary-Lee responds.

"YOU SON OF A-"

"Hey! We don't use foul language here, young lady!" I spoke.

"I wasn't even gonna say anything foul!" Marissa says.

"You're really gonna believe that?" Mary-Lee asks me.

"What I'm gonna believe is that you're minding your own business!" I respond back.

She shrugs and walks upstairs, Marissa plops down on the couch and scrolls through her phone. "So... is Mr. Jayden coming?" She asks.

"Jayden? Ha! He's never even made it to an important event!" I laugh.

"But dad said he'd come."

"Hm, well maybe he's just lying again."

Just then, my third child, Nathan, opens the door, along with my ex-husband, James. "Hi, mom!" Nathan says, grinning.

"Oh, hi!" I say, hugging him.

"He got an A+ on his test." James says.

"Yeah! Did you know that Carbon Dioxide is deadly?"

"Uh... did Lena ever call back?" I ask James, changing the subject.

"I'll take Einstein Jr. up to his room, bye, mom." Marissa spoke, getting up and taking Nathan to his room.

Her and Nathan walk up the stairs, and I continue my talk with James. "Uh, yeah. She said she'd make sure all her skincare routines are in order for today." James answers.

"Ugh, idiot! I'm not asking about that," I check my surroundings before I speak, "I'm talking about her hormones."

"Oh, shit..."

"James! Seriously?!"

"Hey, I didn't wanna get involved with your 'girly-girl' talk!"

"Fair point..."

My phone then starts ringing, it was Lena calling, great! Just fucking GREAT.

"Hi, Lena!" I say, cheerfully.

"What's wrong? You're only nice to me when something's wrong." She says on the other end of the phone.

"Okay, James forgot about your hormones!"

"Oh FUCK IT!"

"Exactly!"

"No, idiot. I'm relieved he forgot! Men can be quite horny when levels are up..."

"Okay, sex educator, what the fuck we gon' do?"

"I don't know! Talk to Jayden or something."

"Bitch, Jayden got five fucking fingers up his ass in that position."

"Oh, my gosh, NIGGA JUST TALK TO HIM." I ended that call, QUICK.

"She said the N word, didn't she?" James says, pausing the television.

"Yes! And she wonders why I keep her out of black-language communication!"

My phone rings again, this time, it's Jayden. FUCKING Jayden.

"Hey, flamboyant dickhead! What's the life of a black nigger?" I answer.

"Hi, faggot hoe! Just another shift at the terrorist company." Jayden answers.

"Oh, with your quirky girlfriend?"

"Yes!" His girlfriend, Livy says into the phone.

"Cool, bitches. Anyways, are y'all gonna be able to come to the event?"

"Eh, I don't really know if we should..." Jayden answers.

"Damnit, black boy, you're SO FUCKING ANNOYING!!!"

"Oop, you did NOT."

"I just did ni-"

"Oh, my gosh Shina..." James says, his hand on his forehead.

"What?" I ask, muting myself on the call.

"Can we go one day without saying the N word?"

"Your white ass knows better... intriguing. But no!" I return back to the call, "So, can y'all come?"

"Was the cum or come?" Jayden asks.

"C-O-M-E."

"Jesus! Yes, we'll be there."

"Perfect! Will you also be there Livy?"

"Yep! I'm gonna make sushi!" Livy replies, happily.

"we're legit at a fucking sushi store. Ordering it." Jayden informs me.

"Yep, I'm looking to see what not to do!"

"She's also a visual learner."

I'm flabbergasted, Livy's gonna fucking lick the ingredients. I swear to the almighty di- no, wait, can't say that.

"Anyways, we gotta go! Call Lena and tell her we said hi!" Jayden says finally.

"Okay, no making babies! Bye." I say, ending the call. They completely ignored me, damn.

I look over at the couch, James isn't there... he's in the kitchen. He teleported to the kitchen.

"I thought only women could shapeshift..." I muttered.

"HUH?!" He says, shocked.

"Nothing!"

"Sure..."

I look at my watch, it's 4:05. "Okay, we need to hurry our asses down to Axel's house!"

"I know! I just brought back Nathan...!" He responds.

"I'm gonna go before you, okay?"

"Okay!"

I hurried into the car and drove myself down to Axel's house. Once I arrived, it was glittering with flamboyant, gayness, and prideful joy.

"Hi, Shina!" Axel says, happily.

"Hey, buddy!" I reply.

Lena walks towards me, "Hi, girlie!"

"Are your hormones okay?" I asked, quietly.

"No, I'm cramping." She replies, quieter than me.

Ah, fuck, now I notice the difference.

Once everyone arrived we had a great time and James was bragging his ass of about Nathan learning about Carbon Dioxide, like who the fuck brags about Carbon Dioxide?! Well, I'll tell you who, my ex-husband. Yep, now you know why I left his ass!