WINTERING

Chapter 4: She's American

HARPER'S INTRODUCTION

THIRD PERSON: Society often has a way of labeling individuals, putting them into neat boxes, and defining them based on their actions and beliefs. These labels can usually be harmful and unfair, making it difficult for individuals to see and understand truly. One such individual is a woman labeled jaded, bitter, and cynical. That was far from the truth — she was just a misunderstood soul trying to navigate a world that didn't accept her.

For this woman, her room was her sanctuary. It was a place where she could escape from the judgment and expectations of the outside world. In this room, she found solace in the memories of her pets — the only beings who had never judged her and had always been faithful to her. They were all she had, and they were her only companions in a world where she felt like an outcast.

No matter where she went, the desire for someone to come along to "rob the cradle and let her rob the grave" remained. This was a twisted and morbid thought, but she couldn't help it. It was her way of rebelling against the society that had rejected her. She had always been attracted to older men and had no qualms about seeking affairs, going against all the values that culture and religion held dear. Living a life of sin gave her a perverse sense of satisfaction, a way of sticking it to the society that had labeled her as a deviant.

It is not difficult to see why this woman was misunderstood. Society often has a narrow view of acceptable behavior, and anyone who does not conform to these standards is quickly ostracized and labeled. What is frequently forgotten is that these labels do not define a person. They are a mere surface-level judgment of a complex individual with struggles and insecurities.

This woman's love for older men and her unapologetic view of seeking pleasure in sin may seem controversial to some, but it is essential to remember that she is just trying to navigate through life in her own way. Society's expectations and judgments should not dictate how an individual chooses to live their life. We are unique, and our experiences and desires cannot be put into neat categories or defined by labels.

HARPER'S POV: Ever since my father left my mother, it was as if she was constantly seeking the love and approval that she had never received from her father. Currently, I have deep-seated issues with my father that are threaded into the depths of my mind. I couldn't escape it, no matter how hard I tried. It was a dangerous combination, and I often found myself in dangerous situations.

Growing up in a deeply religious family, I was constantly surrounded by the church's teachings. Figures in my life were devout followers, and they ensured I followed in their footsteps. I was enrolled in Sunday school since I was six years old, and I attended mass every week. Until I was 12. I was taught that religion was the ultimate truth and that it was the only way to live a fulfilling life.

At age 26, I began to question this belief. I saw the hypocrisy within the church, the scandals and corruption that were swept under the rug. I visited the judgment and hate towards those who didn't fit into their narrow definition of what was right and wrong. I couldn't help but feel that there was something deeply wrong with this institution that claimed to be the embodiment of love and compassion.

Now, that I'm 32, I realize that religion and therapy were just two sides of the same coin — a way for society to control and suppress our true selves. I no longer feel like a demon, but instead, I feel like a free spirit, liberated from the shackles of false beliefs. Religion and therapy are two paths that many people turn to for guidance, healing, and a sense of purpose in life. They are often seen as the two pillars of support when it comes to overcoming challenges and finding meaning in the chaos of life.

I found my path in life — one that is unique to me and not influenced by outside beliefs or opinions. I no longer feel the need to conform to religious doctrines or seek validation from therapists. I can make my own choices and find my purpose without the weight of expectations or the search for external validation. I do not discredit religion or therapy for their potential to help others. I understand that they work for some people and have provided guidance and comfort for many.