Fading Away |JJK

Chapter 4 - A NOT NORMAL EVENING

Jungkook PoV.

I walk home. The snow is still falling. I don't know if it stopped or if it was snowing the whole time. I see people laughing and having fun. It must be nice when you feel you aren't fading. The cold air makes me feel like that I am alive. I like it.

I don't want to enter the house. Don't want to enter my apartment. Because I can't feel the snow inside. Because I will fell like air. Like nothing. Because I will fade again.

I don't know how long I stand here starring into nothing. But out of nowhere my bestfriend is right infront of me waving and flicking his fingers right infront of my eyes. I first must haven't noticed him and started at him because I saw him the moment he touches my shoulder.

"It's so cold. Why are you standing here?" ,he asks and I can hear his voice shivering. He must be freezing. If he only would know how I feel. "Uh.." Fuck. What should I say now? "I... I was just standibg here for like one minute trying to find my key card. I thought I lost it" An obvious lie. I knew exactly where they where. But I still lost. I lost nothing but only my existance.

"Let's go inside! We can drink a hot chocolate!" and Taehyung Hyung dragged me to my apartment. It's strange because the warm air in the hallway and my apartment is letting me to go numb. The feeling of nothing. I feel like I am loosing myself again.

After a while Taehyung Hyung decided he wants to watch a movie. And I sit here. 20 minutes starring through the TV. My body is there, of course! But... my mind is fading away. To a nothing. It's like you photograph a black wall without the wall.

I slowly start napping. I don't know why. It feels just right. But also it feels so wrong. Like a flower blooming in a big snow field without other plants everywhere.

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