Please don't send me to prison for writing this

Obama x Putin

Okay so there was this president named barakoli osama or obama or whatever the fuck it is. but anyways he was an okay president but I guess that was just compared to george bush bc that guys messed up like hella messed up. so anyways he was in heavy denial about it but he was in love with this putin guy who I guess was like the dictator of russia or somethin like that. but ya see that little bitch was a raging homophobe but was also a raging gay-inator 5000 cos logic. anyways there was this disco party for all the leaders of the world, yknow like putin, barakoli, pete wentz ect....

So anyways when they all got to the party putin wanted to talk to obama or osama or whatever but he was still in denial about his sexuality ya feel? so he just decided to talk to the leader of china about throwing a communism party. okai so then putin looked over to obama to see him and pete wentz grinding on each other to the beat of the music and they were some pretty fucking sick beats man like they were hella do you catch my drift? mkay so then those two started having a hella heavy make out session so putin went all yandere like yuno from the future diary. so putin went over to pete and fucked him up pretty bad like really bad dude I mean putin ate petes motherfucking lungs. so then obama was all like "wtf man that dude was my bæ" so putin cast a spell on him bc communists have magical power so then obama was like "it's all cool bruh" then the weirdest fucking thing happened?? putin got down on one knee and pulled out an amethyst ring(cuz diamonds are too mainstream) and looked obama in the eyes and said "barakoli obama, I want to obamacare for you for the rest of my life" and obama was like "hell yeah dude".

So the two got married but then pete wentz was all like "oh no you didn't" and putin was like "oh yes I did" but then putin remembered that he ate petes lungs and didn't want to start anything bc he knew from the leaders of the world disco party that pete wentz was actually ruler of the universe so putin and obama got married and had 69 children all named ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

A/N: okay i have no ducking clue why the hell I wrote this so please don't send me to federal prison
All spelling mistakes(and grammar mistakes) are intended so yeh
Sorry if I scarred you for life.