No Love Desired [Taekook]

Chapter 1

New beginnings radiate with the warmth of a smile, and I'm thrilled to share this journey with my imaginative listeners. Your smiles, even in the realm of imagination, mean a great deal :).

Now, let's embark on this adventure together. Greetings! I'm "Kim Taehyung." Before I delve into the present, allow me to offer a glimpse of the tapestry of my past life. Join me as we weave through memories and stories, creating a narrative that unfolds with every word.

For me, hearing someone expresses "love" or "like" with the intention of forming a life attachment triggers a profound discomfort. The very thought prompts a strong reaction in me, making me feel the need to distance myself significantly. In such a scenario, I'd find solace in the idea of burying myself or disappearing from that person's life. Moreover, given the chance, I would willingly erase any memories they hold about me, regardless of the duration of our connection.

Fortunately, in my past, the prospect of someone approaching me with life-long attachment intentions never arose. I was truly blessed with a friend whose very essence exuded adorableness and innocence, his heart emanating an aura of genuine kindness. In the vast expanse of public spaces, his magnetic presence effortlessly commanded attention, drawing all eyes toward him. Along our shared path, people were captivated by his charm, leaving me unnoticed, unknown, and unacknowledged. Helpfully his captivating aura effortlessly stole the spotlight, leaving me in the shadows.

Things were progressing normally between us, until, out of the blue, an unexpected surge of love emerged, catching me off guard and leaving me with a sense of uncertainty and unapproved emotions.

After receiving numerous proposals, my best friend ultimately chose to give his heart to our university Scourge. 'I genuinely felt joy for him discovering love,' though admittedly, the idea doesn't sit well with me. It's not that I harbor hatred for love; rather, I find myself apprehensive about the prospect of falling into its embrace. Nevertheless, for the people I deeply care about, I sincerely wish them a life brimming with happiness alongside their chosen partners.

As there is alignment with the saying, 'when positive events unfold in a person's life, the lives of those surrounding them may be influenced, either positively or negatively, by these occurrences.'"

The positive turn in my friend's life had a dual impact on my own, bringing both blessings and challenges. With a question, I will share how both the positive and negative aspects unfolded in my life.

First the question, When my friend confessed his love for the Scourge, a question hovered on the tip of my tongue. Yet, the sparkling eyes that held the promise of happy tears stopped me in my tracks. I hesitated, not wanting to spoil his joyous moment. The question lingered, postponed for another day. Sadly, that day never arrived as I am now distant in death. So, I pose the question to you all: Why is it, even in reality, do good people fall in love with those perceived as bad, much like the tales woven in fictional stories?

Secondly, my personal challenge unfolded. In the aftermath of my best friend's heart finding its match, the once exclusive attention directed at him began to acknowledge my presence. In response, I confronted these newfound gazes, urging their redirection to more meaningful endeavors. At times, I found myself shouting at familiar faces, 'Hey, you guys, mind focusing on your own endeavors,' or silently scolding unknown ones for wasting their precious time stealing a fleeting glance at me.

Despite my well-known cold-hearted, cunning, selfish, and calculating exterior, complemented by an extroverted personality, they persist in bothering me. Having mastered the art of ignoring numerous existences, I have no desire to needlessly add one more to my list.

Wait, did I forget to elaborate on my personality? Let me begin. Having delved into numerous novels, particularly those of the same romantic genre and sexuality. My observations through these novels led me to a calculated insight. It seems that individuals with timid, innocent, slow-witted, and introverted personalities are often perceived as trustworthy or easily counted on. On the contrary, those with a cold, arrogant, dominant attitude, coupled with selfishness and cunning-especially those with a "stone heart" personality-are the ones who are counted on before the former type of person.

Based on the above perspective, I arrived at a conclusion: If an individual of the second personality type prefers solitude and harbors a fear of falling in love, they are less likely to be romantically involved with someone else. Furthermore, the likelihood of someone approaching a person with this personality is also less. Eventually, I found myself living with these personalities in my last life, and it seems this pattern will persist into my current one as well.

On the contrary, I used the term "extrovert" to describe myself because, despite cherishing moments of solitude, I equally enjoy engaging in conversations with people and forming connections. It's just that, despite my sociable nature, I hold a steadfast desire to remain single throughout my lifetime.

I see confusion arising; my desire to be single doesn't equate to a willingness to be lonely. On the contrary, I deeply value companionship and the presence of a friend and confidant who can share my thoughts, correct me when needed, understand me, and even smile at my senseless jokes. In my crystal-clear vision, I reject the notion of emotional emptiness. Alone and loneliness are states I don't want to entertain even in my dreams. I yearn for a connection that brings warmth, understanding, and shared joy without the complications of romantic entanglements.

Now, addressing the "eyes" I previously mentioned-these are the glances of individuals with the clear intention of seeking a partner, whether for a fleeting moment or a long-term commitment. In response to such intentions, my reaction is instinctive-a deliberate act of creating distance. It's like setting clear boundaries, a choice to keep my distance and, if needed, ignore them. It's a way to protect the peace that comes with being single and content.

The connection I got in my previous life, one that brought warmth, understanding, and shared joy without the complexities of romantic entanglements, was with my best friend, Jeon Jungkook. We had been best friends since childhood, always inseparable. I shielded him from the influences of others and safeguarded his innocence until my last breath. Jungkook was remarkably obedient, always heeding my advice; if I deemed something harmful for him, he would avoid it without hesitation. Although I departed, I find solace in knowing that he has found someone to care for him in my absence.

Indeed, as the saying goes, "an introvert person will be found and stolen by an extrovert person in terms of friendship." In the case of Jungkook, he was 'stolen' by me.

Jungkook's friendship was a treasure trove of moments that went beyond mere understanding. He not only smiled at my silly jokes but became a companion in creating them. In the face of my dramas, he stood unwavering, offering support and laughter to lighten the mood. Our bond wasn't just about tolerating each other's quirks; it was a seamless blend of comfort, understanding, and the kind of camaraderie that transcends words. Jungkook wasn't just a friend; he was the canvas on which the painting of my memories was vividly and beautifully colored.

After introducing Jungkook, I feel compelled to delve into how I perceived such a person. For now, I'll provide a glimpse that Jungkook was my first attempt at my "never give up" action.

I'll also address the significant question that may arise about my best friend faithfully following my words and our bond. Since I mentioned my friend followed my words, how did he end up falling for the university scourge, a seemingly bad guy? Initially, I only provided a glimpse of the whole story. It seems I must add a part of the narrative where I made a mistake to offer a more complete picture.

I know it's very rare for me to make a mistake, but I did anyway.

Nonetheless, "Good things said after a bad event can give hope."

..

Author Note,

"In the journey of life, sometimes what we need is not just love, but a companion who walks beside us, sharing the adventure without demanding the destination.

Highly need of support! :)