I Don't Smoke (bsdxmha)

The servant

Artwork for this chapter is amazing chibi fanart of UA Dazai by @ zuzinkys on ao3 (and other platforms). tysm!!

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Quirk erasing bullets. What a simple idea, yet so difficult to put into practice. Any sort of meta-ability erasure technology is hard to come by with such a vast range of powers. That results in erasure abilities such as Aizawa's and his to be exceedingly valuable and rare, making them glaring targets. Dazai would know, obviously, but it seems Aizawa had marginally better luck than him.

He can predict a few ways the Shie Hassaikai are producing them - if the rumours are true, that is. The first is utilising some sort of bacteria or chemical - a carbon link? - using very recent scientific discoveries. This one, although it has the potential to work, would most likely be discovered by government research facilities with top-notch equipment rather than some dingy mafia lab. The second, and more likely scenario, is weaponising someone's ability into an anti-ability solution.

It would most likely be an ability similar to Dazai's that could nullify the gene - the 'quirk factor' itself. The temporary erasure of an ability is somewhat easy, after all, but to permanently erase it?

That's what had Dazai stumped. Nullification powers tended to block the usage of the gene, versus erasing it altogether. Erasing a gene would leave the body quite unsteady, after all, and then it would have to be remade for the ability to be usable and undamaged. It's virtually impossible for a nullification-style ability.

And for both the permanent and temporary erasure bullets to be made from similar material? It doesn't make sense. The quirk would have to have the ability to erase the 'quirk factor' and remake it. It's strange, yet very interesting. It also makes Dazai wonder if his ability would be erased by the bullet, or if it would just be nullified immediately after piercing his skin. Or maybe... it would result in something else.

It gives Dazai an idea, though, and all good things start with ideas. He stares at the ancient brick phone in the palm of his hand.

It has a total of three numbers in it. Chuuya - who made him promise to call him. Danjuro - who insisted that Dazai put his contact details in when he caught wind of the purchase. Aizawa - well, the man didn't exactly force him to, but threatening a criminal with Eraserhead's phone number would certainly make any common criminal run the other direction.

To his dismay, he has over half of 1-A's phone numbers memorised because of the class group chat (that he has probably been removed from by now). He doesn't add any of them, though, there's no real reason to contact any of them now that he's been busted. Dazai also doesn't add a certain Dostoyevsky Fyodor, no matter how briefly he considers it. He was more of an annoying fly than anything. And eye candy, he supposes.

Dazai ignores the latter two contacts and presses on Chuuya's contact information. The buzzer rings once, then twice, and then stops with a distinct click.

"Who is this?" the caller demands, sounding far too annoyed for a Friday afternoon.

"I'm looking for one Nakahara Chuuya of the leprechaun association. He wears a teeny little top hat and ugly black heeled boots," Dazai announces cheerfully, swinging his feet back and forth from the stool in his shed. It's marginally less dusty than when he first arrived, but certainly not cleaner, as paint has now begun to infect every possible crevice. Dazai would like to say that he's finally made something human enough to actually mean something, but lying to himself wouldn't be worthwhile. All he has is landscape after landscape from memory and Nakahara Chuuya. The only thing he fears more than Chuuya's soulless portraits is Oda Sakunosuke's tainted memory by his brush strokes.

The red that coats the canvasses looks all too like violence to Dazai.

"Ok, who is this? I swear to fucking God himself if someone is trying to prank call me - " Chuuya pauses for a few seconds, then tentatively, he says, "Dazai..?"