The Beta's Human Mate

Chapter Twenty Six, Deserve

Zeke Hayes

I can hear him pacing outside my door, and I can barely feel it in the bond, but he's worried. It's been almost a week since we found out, since my spiraling started.

I don't deserve this life, I deserve to be miserable and alone. I don't deserve him.

I don't deserve happiness.

These words have been on repeat in my head since we left the doctors, and I can't force myself to tell him how I feel. This happy moment for him was ruined because of me. Because I'm a terrible mate, and i dont deserve any of this life.

I feel like a fraud, like I am pretending to be something I'm not. I thought everything was good, I thought I was good, but here I am, sulking in my self pity.

Nausea has flooded my system, when i do eat, i end up puking. I can't keep food down, and it has nothing to do with the pregnancy.

The pregnancy.

I can't let myself even think about that.

Turning over in my bed, I face the other side, staring at the wall. Peyton comes in, letting the light from the living room spread across my bedroom. "Baby?" His voice is gentle, and he eats up the space between us.

"Want to go get lunch with me?" he whispers, sitting on the edge of the bed. "You haven't eaten today"

"I want to be alone, Peyton. I'm not hungry, if I'm hungry I'll get food "I snap, although my anger has nothing to do with him. He flinches at my tone, and shakes his head.

"You're being selfish" his voice is gentle, which makes it hurt even more. "You don't think I hear you throwing up?" his tone raises, not to a yell but it raises. "You're starving yourself, which starves this baby. You haven't been taking your medicine, you won't get out of bed. I'm trying to give you space, but im not going to watch you kill yourself, and this baby!"

He's up and pacing my bedroom, running his fingers in his hair. "Selfish?" I scoff, pushing up so I'm sitting. The room spins slightly, and my head starts to ache. "I'm selfish? There's a baby inside of me that I didn't ask for!" my voice raises to a yell, and i push to my feet. Everything sways, and my vision blurs.

"Just because you didn't ask for it, doesn't mean you're not being selfish Zeke"

"Your body isn't the one being invaded!" shaking my head, i move a step "It is my body. Mine. And now there's a baby in me, that I didn't even know what's possible" another step, but I stumbled, and before I hit the floor Peyton stops me, holding me.

"What's wrong?" His voice is gentle, and my head is spinning so bad now.

"Everything's spinning"

I don't hear his response before everything goes black.

—

Something is poking my arm, and it pulls me from the quietness I was surrounded in. My eyes flicker under my lids, and then they're opening to a bright white room. My brows crease, and my eyes squint.

"Baby?" Peyton's voice is sweet, and he comes into view. Blurry, but I can see him.

"Where am i" my voice is raspy, and my head is pounding.

"The medical wing, you passed out. Here drink this" there's a straw to my lips, and i suck, gatorade flooding my mouth.

My eyes find a nurse, who has a needle in my arm and is drawing my blood. She smiles "We're going to run some tests, see why you passed out. The doctor will be in shortly after honey" she smiles, and bandages me up before leaving with vials of blood.