Sweet darkness

darkness

I suppose I love my scars because they have stayed with me longer than most people have.
Nikita Gill.
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Tw: Mention of blood and scares
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Katerina pov:

A loud crashing noise and the darkness seizes me, in the background there is some music whose lyrics are repeated over and over again. My head hurts as if it had been hit with a hammer. Everything feels so unreal, like a terrible nightmare from which you just want to wake up . A bright light blinds my eyes, which I immediately squint. My head instinctively turns away to protect myself as I try to support myself on my hands. A stabbing feeling goes through me, with a blurry vision. I look at my hands, which have deep cut wounds There are shards of glass in the wounds, tears form in my eyes.

With shaking hands I look at my white dress, which is covered in blood. A large one was placed on my stomach, which is still bleeding. A dizzy feeling overcomes me. I'm like in my body Trapped I want to run and scream for help but no muscle moves and the words get stuck in my throat.

A coughing attack shakes my body, blood drips down my mouth and more and more comes out then it goes black again

My body shoots up in a wet sweat, I look around in panic when I realize that I'm in my room, I try to calm myself down, I run my hands through my wet hair "shit" I curse for the first time in weeks the nightmares come back to haunt me, It will never stop, it feels so damn real, like I'm back there again I breathe deeply, try to calm my rapid breathing, my heart beats quickly, exhausted, I fall on my bed, I can't close my eyes, the fear is too big to get, another nightmare.

I look at the clock. It's still 3:34 until . I groan in annoyance, I walk with slow steps to the kitchen. My plan to be quiet is ruined by the creaking floor.

I'm standing in the kitchen and open the fridge what did I want again, "ice cream" I wanted to get ice cream a snack that I always eat when I'm not feeling well, -No vanilla- I rummage through the fridge compartment "there it is" I announce excitedly like a little child in the sweets shop, Natacha's homemade chocolate ice cream. On the way back to my room I hear noises from my father's study room. I stop in confusion. The only person who is allowed in there is my father and he's not there

I approach the door quietly, the door is open a little bit and you can see Jade, what is Jade doing in the study strange, very strange, she is rummaging through my father's cupboards and documents, that doesn't mean anything good "<<Damn, where is this damn thing thing>>" she curses, stomping on the floor like a child who doesn't get what she wants, she slaps her hand over her mouth and looks around to see if she belongs to anyone, I quickly hide behind the door "<<Come on Get out Kath, I saw you>> "I walk up to Jade who is staring at me"<<What are you doing here>>"Jade is wearing a black nightgown with lace something on her face some green stuff probably some of her beauty things she is complete obsessed with the stuff, I suppress a laugh "I could ask you the same thing," I reply monotonously, slowly walking towards her "You in the middle of the night, in my father's study, where you have no business being inside, where you were looking for something" can you explain it to me

"I can explain it" she says while playing with her fingers

"I'm convinced you can" I'm circling her "go ahead , explain it to me" I whisper in her ear "well... - I...I have "she swallows hard" here because I was...looking for my lipstick

That can hardly be her, I know that she isn't the smartest person right now, but I wouldn't have thought she was that stupid. I clutch my head in disbelief, "So what you're trying to tell me is" that you... ..-here in the middle of the night looking for your lipstick" she looks confused in my eyes "<<yes>>" then I give her the chance to change her statement and she doesn't take it "in the middle of the night you are looking for a lipstick in my father's room, are you just pretending...-or are you really that stupid" she slowly seems to notice her mistake. she starts to giggle "<<no of course not>>" I look at her with raised eyebrows, believe her not a word "I.... have searched your father's documents here, he asked me for them" of course, "whatever, next time you'll be snooping around with indiscernible people...- and please make up better excuses for yourself.
With these words I disappear.