Screw Enemies To Lovers Trope

PROLOGUE

I didn't want to have to do this but somebody just won't get off my butt about this so here I am.

Hi. Hello. Hey. To whoever is reading this, I'm Harry Detroit and this is my story.

*Feminine voice butting in from behind* Seriously? Your story? You know, Harry, for someone who didn't want to do this, you sure know how to get in the theatrics of it.

*Exasperated* Maria, I thought we talked about this. I narrate the first half and you narrate the second half, why the hell are you butting in right now?

*Exaggerated gasp* You do not get to talk to me like that. And yes, I will butt in when you're whining and making it all about yourself like you always do.

Can you please not fight me right now? I'm trying to-

*Throwing up hands in surrender* All right. All right. I'm not saying anything, you go on.

Thank you.

Though for the record, I wasn't-

Okay! As I was saying, I'm Harry and this is my- and Maria's- story. Happy now?

*Ignore*

Right, um, sorry about that, guys. *Clears throat* Have you ever read a novel with this popular trope called "enemies to lovers"? If you have, you know how the story goes...

They hate each other because of some miscommunication that happened the first time they met; they are always fighting but ooh the sexual tension! Then they are thrust together somehow, usually through fake dating, that happens because of some weird coincidence, realize the other person isn't that bad after all and with some swoon-worthy twist at the end, they live happily ever after...

Right?

Wrong.

You know what happens after? They get married. And then-

Well, I should probably start from the beginning.