The Other Bill Shakespeare

12. Beatrix Peacock - By the pool, Christmas Eve, 1968.

Good grief! If Freud could see the Sturrocks in action, he'd resurrect just to add them to his case studies. These folks are a walking, talking textbook on dysfunctionality! How can Stirling and Odette be friends with these people?

And my poor niece is Elizabeth's best friend... Wow! I'm so disappointed in Stirling. How can he not see that THAT, might actually be the problem?

Edith started screeching at the big smelly son. "Get away from her, Jason! You're the reason she almost passed out."

What does she mean by that?

"Stirling, Odette," I called, "Madeline's unwell!" Grabbing the ice bucket and a couple of tea towels, I rushed to her aid. Everyone followed.

"Maddie!" Simon dropped to his knees beside her.

"Mmm... I'm okay, Simon," Madeline murmured.

He helped her sit up. Using the melted water from the ice bucket, I soaked the tea towels and applied them to her neck and forehead.

"What's happened, is she all right?
Phwhoarr! What's that smell?" Phyllis Sturrock appeared to have emerged from her usual reverie.

"Mummy's got a point Jas'." Elizabeth wrinkled her nose. "You smell like compost."

"Well, I went out drinking with the boys and didn't come home last night, did I? I only got in about four thirty, then we had to leave to come here."

"You...didn't come home, until this afternoon?" Phyllis looked perplexed.

Gracious me, Phyllis! Your son didn't come home last night and you didn't even notice? How is that possible? What's wrong with you? Mothers are supposed to...well, mother.

I managed to keep the horror that I felt, at her lack of parental authority from showing on my face. I even managed to hold my tongue...until Lindsay boorishly told his wife to leave his son alone.

"You worry too much Phyllis. Leave him be. Jason's big enough and ugly enough to look after himself. Aren't you son? Eh? And quite a hit with the ladies too, eh?" He elbowed his son with a wink. "Caused this one to swoon, did you?"

I was unable to restrain myself any longer. "Lindsay, that is highly inappropriate. Madeline is still a child! So is your son. He's what, seventeen, eighteen? He cannot consume alcohol until he is twenty-one. It is in fact against the law. You're a member of parliament. Does the law mean nothing to you? Good heavens, you're supposed to set an example!"

Phyllis found the courage to say, "she does have a point, Lindsay."

"Now, now, settle down ladies! Everyone knows it's a stupid law. They're probably going to change it soon anyway. I mean, how can you tell our boys that they're old enough to die for our country but not old enough to have a beer?"

"Be that as it may, Lindsay, I think we'd best call it a night," Stirling said.

"Oh... I see. Righto' then. Shall I send a driver round in the morning to pick you up or will you meet us there?" Lindsay asked.

"Oh, yes, I almost forgot, that you'll be spending Christmas with us!"  Elizabeth clapped her hands. "We'll have so much fun together, Didi."

"Thank you for your kind invitation, Lindsay, but we won't be able to accept on this occasion," Odette said.

"But Daddy said you'd come." Elizabeth whined.

Stirling frowned. "I never said yes, Lindsay."

"But if the Higginbothams won't accept the poor cousin -"

"Lizzy!" Edith exclaimed, cutting her off.

What on Earth? 

"What did you say?" Odette looked as if she too was about to faint.