into the light

}[>the guest<]{

the sound of a harsh knock on the front door broke steven from his near comatose rest, three more knocks made his ears ring and alerted him of the god-awful hungover reality he was now faced with, a muffled call of his name made him groan and clench a hand to his temples. robert stirred against him and pressed his face into steve's chest, still fast asleep. he snored sweetly with his lips parted, his soft body half draped over steve's, who laid on his back.

'steven!' her voice was much angrier now, and of course the knocking continued, so steven forcibly willed himself into getting up, slipping out from beneath his lover and crawling out from the covers. he stumbled into the cold, pulled on a stray pair of underwear and wrapped his robe tight around his front, slowly making his way out to the hall. his head throbbed with a dull ache and his thoughts felt as though they were moving at half speed. he wanted nothing more than to simply retreat and curl back up with the extraordinary boy in his bed, but unfortunately his regular life couldn't be put on hold just for his own sexual exploits. the door came into his blurry view and he tried to muster up some vague sort of sociability, but eventually he let out a sigh and undid the chain, he then unlocked the door and swung it open to see a perfectly sober, properly made up, rather angry siouxsie glaring back at him.

'well steve, it took you long enough' she said, the heels of her boots clicking against the floor as she stepped into the apartment, she gave her friend an icy once over and raised her eyebrows in silent judgment.

'shh.. i know, i know ' he whispered, then gave her a slight shrug 'i'm living on robert time'

'i see...' she replied, still staring at his state of dress. it was undoubtedly some time in the afternoon, maybe even the evening, but he truly couldn't care less. this was only a seasonal change of schedule and he'd be back to normal when robert left, which was very soon. besides, this certainly wasn't the right time for siouxsie to needle him about his personal life.

'just give me a second, im pretty sure i left them in the living room' he grumbled and shuffled off to look for the bundle of lyrics he'd scribbled down over the last week. he promised to give them to her the last time they spoke, foolishly arranging for her to drop by during the daytime. he hoped to quickly find the paper and send her on her way— but for whatever reason, siouxsie followed behind him to watch as he searched. the living room was in an absolute state; the two ashtrays were full, dirty glasses and open cigarette packets from the night before were still scattered over the coffee table, stray pillows and blankets laid strewn across the floor with the odd stray piece of clothing tangled among the mess and the takeaway they ordered hadn't been tidied up after they retreated to the bedroom, so open containers of food still sat where they'd been left. steve momentarily worried there might be something more incriminating lying around, but decided against inspecting the mess too closely in front of his guest. he rifled through a stack of magazines on the table beside the couch, then through some stray newspapers, he was certain he'd left them in here as he distinctly remembered adding a couple that he'd scribbled down the other day, struck with inspiration as he watched robert lying on his back on the floor, giggling bashfully, a video from severins personal collection playing on the tv, one hand shoved down the front of his-

'where is he then?' she asked, a faint smirk brimming on her bowed face as she inspected steve's mess 'since your couch is free'

steven picked up a stack of notebooks, picking out some stray sheets stuffed between their pages 'he's in my room... too drafty in here at night'

it was an undoubtedly shitty excuse, but telling the truth would take a lot of explaining that steven couldn't be arsed with. his hangover definitely played a part in this, but there was also the brimming frustration that came from his inability to find the bloody lyrics.

'right' she said, with a knowing smile. siouxsie had been onto steve for ages, teasing him relentlessly about his slight infatuation with robert ever since they first toured with the cure, but for better or worse, she didn't know the extent of their relationship. on any other day he'd tease her back, they'd give each other a couple of playfully snide remarks, the two of them would laugh about it in the end before departing with a silent agreement to keep each other's secrets, but steven was much too exhausted to bother with any of that, so her reply was left to linger in the cold air of his living room. finally, he picked a stray shirt off the armchair beside the tv and found the thick bundle beneath it, tightly secured on either side with two paper clips. he grabbed it and turned back to siouxsie, brandishing it with a sigh of relief and before passing it to her. she flipped through the sheets and whispered a quick thanks under her breath as she tucked them into her bag.

'look, i won't keep you any longer since i've got some radio interview at half, but do you mind if i just run to the bathroom before i go?' she gestured off to the hallway behind her and before steven could even respond, she'd already turned on her heel and started off toward the bathroom. steve simply rolled his eyes and sulked off to the kitchen to get some water, where it dawned on him that if he hadn't cleaned up last nights mess in the living room, then he certainly hadn't cleaned up the mess in the bathroom. the realisation struck just after he'd downed a handful of pills and heard a flush down the hall. now, filled with a newfound sense of dread, he buried his face in his hands and dragged his feet as he sulked back out, catching sight of siouxsie as she stepped out once again.

'thank you again for the lyrics, i'll get back to you before new years... i don't think i've any plans yet but we can figure something out' she spoke nonchalantly and gave him a faint smile, then let her casual facade drop and gave steve a thrilled glare 'also, i found this on the floor' she looked down to a polaroid, clutched in her hand 'i don't think you meant to leave it out'

steven quickly snatched it from her hand to see a blurry shot of roberts sweet, dollish face with his mouth stretched wide as steven fucked his face. the memories of the night before came back to him with full clarity and he blushed, shoving it into the pocket of his robe before it could rouse any other emotions in him.

'thanks for that' he chewed on his lower lip, trying to think of some way to diffuse the awkwardness of the situation, part of him was glad it was only siouxsie who'd found it, although the other part of him was completely furious at himself for carelessly leaving such an incriminating photo behind. as though the moment couldn't get any worse, his stomach dropped as the door to his bedroom creaked open behind siouxsie and robert stepped out into the hall with only a quilt wrapped around his body, squinting confusedly once he saw the two together. he made an odd face and went to wave, before realising that he might risk flashing their guest and settled on giving her a quick nod instead.

'morning...' he spoke so faintly, then paused and broke into a long yawn. he shuffled past siouxsie into the toilet with a polite 'excuse me' and slammed the door behind himself. steve was certain, if nothing else this morning had confirmed siouxsie's suspicions, the guilty look on his own face would have given him away his arrangement with robert immediately. he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, preparing himself for whatever she might say.

'look, whatever's going on with you and robert, just be careful about it... you don't want to make a mess of anything' she gave him a raise of her eyebrow, accompanied by a concerned glare which eventually softened as steve nodded in response, making his way back over to the front door as he was definitely not in the mood to discuss the logistics of his situation with robert.

'good luck sioux' he said, rolling his eyes and holding the door open.

'yeah, right...' she smiled, nudging him with her elbow on her way out. he slammed the door behind her and shoved his forehead against the doorframe in frustration, already certain that the next time they saw each other he would get a right lecture.