All of us are dead - oneshots

The Roof - suhyeok x cheongsan

A/N: in which they stayed the whole night on the roof
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"Cheongsan?" Suhyeok breathed into the cold night air. There was no answer, just the muffled sounds from the zombies below mixed with a chorus of snores from different parts of the roof.

"Sannie?" he tried again, sitting up slightly to lean on his elbows. He heard a muffled sound from said boy next to him.

"You awake?" he whispered. Cheongsan sighed and lifted his head a little.

"I am now, thanks," he muttered but didn't seem to mind all that much, considering he slowly sat up, turning to Suhyeok and hugging his knees.

"Sorry," Suhyeok mumbled, "I can't sleep."

"Why?" Cheongsan asked but quickly cringed, "no, I get it. I don't really know how I fell asleep to be honest."

They were both silent for a moment, just looking at each other and listening to the sounds of the night. Suhyeok bit his lip, glancing to the side and picking at the hem of his shirt. He sighed.

"I keep thinking about... everything. You know?" he began, laying down flat on his back again. He stared up at the star-filled sky. "I don't know anymore. I can't believe they just left us like that... I don't get it. Why would they do that?"

"I don't know Suhyeok," Cheongsan murmured, following his stare and gazing up at the sky too.

"I can't help but feel like... like that was it, you know? This is it."

"Hey stop," Cheongsan shook his head, looking back at him, "you can't do that. You can't give up."

"Why? What are we gonna do? They left! Our only rescuers just left!" Suhyeok raised his voice a little, feeling angry in a way he never had before. Sure, he had been let down before, - especially by his parents, but never before had anyone snuffed out the only light that kept him going, the only light left to save his friends.

"No." Cheongsan said firmly. Suhyeok looked at him, surprised by the tone in his voice. Cheongsan stared back at him, his eyes hard.

"They weren't our only rescuers," he continued, and when Suhyeok raised his eyebrows he added, "even if they were, we'll just have to rescue ourselves. I refuse to die now. I refuse to die and I refuse to become a zombie. I'm too good looking for that."

Suhyeok snorted slightly at that. He couldn't help the way the corners of his mouth lifted a little, although they soon fell again and he returned his stare to the stars. He tucked his hands under his head. Cheongsan languidly moved from his position, laying down closer to Suhyeok and keeping his eyes on the sky too. He rested his head right next to Suhyeok's.

"You know..." he said lowly. Suhyeok slowly turned his head to look at him. Cheongsan gave a half-smile. "I keep wondering... how are you not scared? I mean, every time we've been fighting the zombies you're the first one to push them away."

"I couldn't let them hurt you," Suhyeok admitted before quickly correcting himself, "any of you."

"What about you then?"

"What about me?"

"Aren't you protecting yourself?"

Suhyeok was silent for a moment. His eyes trailed the contour of Cheongsan's face, the way his eyelashes moved when he blinked and the shape of his nose down to his lips.

"I suppose. But I... well you already know who I used to be. I used to fight all the time, and even though I don't do that anymore, I still miss it sometimes. Or actually no, I don't miss it at all but it's just.. sometimes I don't really know who I am if I don't like.. hurt in some way. I'm just so used to hurting, it's not that I want to be in pain but it's like it's... grounding me sometimes. Makes me remember that I'm alive. So I don't really mind being the one taking the fights."

"What do you mean?" Cheongsan asked.

"I don't know how to explain it," Suhyeok huffed.

"Try."

Cheongsan turned his head around so that he could look at Suhyeok as well. They ended up with their faces mere inches from one another, their noses nearly touching. Suhyeok closed his eyes, trying to find the right words.

"You've never been to my place..." he began but immediately changed his mind, rephrasing, "ever since I was little, my parents used to fight a lot. In the beginning they were just screaming, but with time my father started becoming more and more aggressive. He started hitting my mom, and then it didn't take very long before he became physical with me too."

He peeled his eyes open to see Cheongsan's reaction. He was still watching him, his eyebrows knitted together and his eyes sad.

"Then things kinda... escalated. He started drinking a bit while my mom became very depressed and barely left her room, which led to me basically looking after myself. That's when I became friends with Gwinam and that gang. Really bad influences," he sighed and rubbed over his face with the hand that wasn't occupied by his and Cheongsan's heads.

"So ever since then... or at least until I became friends with you guys, my only escape from, well everything, was fighting. So this really... the difference doesn't feel that big."

"That's awful," Cheongsan said, "I can't believe we didn't know. I never would have guessed, you're so kind. You're one of the nicest people I know."

Suhyeok forced a smile.

"Well, I try. Nowadays at least."

"And you're good at it. I'm so sorry you've went through all that. And now this."

"It's not like it's your fault, don't worry about it. I don't," Suhyeok shrugged. Cheongsan didn't look very convinced. Suhyeok decided he'd rather watch the stars again than look at the unreadable expression Cheongsan had.

It was quiet for long enough that Suhyeok began wondering if Cheongsan fell asleep again. He dared a quick glance, finding Cheongsan observing him intently.

"Before I found you I actually didn't believe in strong friendships," Suhyeok whispered while a smile crept across his lips. Cheongsan raised his brows, but the way his lips twitched betrayed his deadpan expression. He gave up and gave in to the smirk overtaking his face. Instead of answering, he threw an arm over Suhyeok's stomach and snuggled closer, pressing his face against Suhyeok's neck. Suhyeok felt his stomach flutter.

"You're very important to me, Suhyeok," Cheongsan mumbled against his neck. Suhyeok could feel every move of his lips as he spoke, and the warm breath against his skin made his body tingle.

"Yeah?" he breathed.

"I care about you," Cheongsan continued, "sometimes... even more than I should I think."

Suhyeok didn't really know how to answer that, so instead he carefully moved the hand resting under his head and put the arm around Cheongsan's shoulders instead, pulling him tight. He finally felt the tiredness of everything catching up to him. Cheongsan slowly moved the arm around his middle and reached to grab his hand, intertwining their fingers and resting their hands together on top of his stomach again. Suhyeok squeezed his hand.

"Tomorrow we'll figure something out," he whispered before letting sleep take over his body. Right before is mind drifted off he could have sworn he felt the light press of Cheongsan's lips against the base of his neck.

He fell asleep with a smile on his face.

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AN: it was actually a bit fun to write abt them again <3 ive missed it