I wake to the sound of your cries.
I check the clock and read the time.
I wonder what woke you.
Was it the teething?
Was it the recent development of night terrors?
I shuffle with an upward trajectory.
I rub the sleep from my eyes,
And I head to your room.
I open the door as quietly as I can.
I speak to you softly, as I know you need my comfort.
I scoop you up into my large frame,
Ever shrinking to you due to your rapid growth.
I bend slowly to sit in the corner chair.
It rocks slowly with a rhythm in which my heart keeps time.
I sing to you as softly as my throat will allow
Of how you keep my grey skies at bay.
I shed a tear, as I've done so many times before.
I always try to savor our moments
Because I know there are only so many more.
But, no matter how grateful and in the moment I am
I always despise myself for not holding you closer, tighter, and longer than I did.
I try harder every time, but it never seems enough.
When you're so aware of time's thievery,
You realize the present is all you've got.
Regardless of my feelings, you never fail to remind me
That to you I am Daddy, the great protector and apple of your eye.
I hung the moon, arranged the stars, and move mountains just for you.
Oh how I can wait for the day that you discover me a mortal man,
A man with flaws and sins like every other.
But, no matter when that day comes, I will never stop striving to be the man you see in me.
As such, I rock you with the synchronous rhythm of a father's love,
And when I hold your heart so close to mine,
I become even more mindful of the passing time.
Because, you won't always want me to rock you to sleep in the middle of the night,
But as I sit here with you in my arms,
I shed a tear, as I'll do so many more times.
Because, I know more with each passing moment,
If you ever need to be rocked back to sleep in the middle of the night again,
Whether you're 2 or 72,
As long as I draw breath,
I'll be there to rock you, my son.
Love, Daddy.
