𝐅𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 ━━ 𝗞𝗡𝗕

04╏Valentine

CHAPTER 04

❝ YOU WON'T BE LEAVING WITH ME ❞

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ♡︎♡︎♡︎
JUNE 15, FRIDAY with Seijuurou-kun.

I've started to call Seijuurou-kun by his first name, and surprisingly, he liked it a lot. The moment his first name rolled off my tongue, it seems he didn't want me to stop. It was weird but cute of him, but maybe it's because not a lot of people get the privilege to call him by his first name.

Today, Seijuurou-kun and I went to an arcade after school since we both haven't gone to one before. I wasn't surprised to find him immersed in games and winning with ease, especially when it comes to strategic ones like the claw machine or the one where a person needs to insert coins so the sea of coins below would have some kind of chain reaction then the coin tower would topple over.

Needless to say, we got a lot of tickets and he got me a big lion stuffed toy. I don't know if he knows that lions are my favourite but I'm happy he got me the lion. It was big and fluffy and super cute. I'm going to hug it and the kiwi plushie to sleep later tonight.

But that's not the only thing Seijuurou-kun got me earlier.

I was very, very, very surprised when he gave me his phone number.

Well, he took my phone (with permission) and added himself into my contacts, even putting himself as my speed dial for emergencies. It was very sweet of him, given that I've probably told him how absent my mother has been for the past several weeks. He's probably worried over me.

It makes me feel giddy inside that Seijuurou-kun personally put his number on my phone, saved his contact as his first name, and listed himself as my emergency contacts. It means a lot to me to know that he's that invested in my life and that he wants me to contact him.

Seijuurou-kun never failed to make my day better, even now as I feel myself slowly feel heavier whenever I wake up.

Despite the overwhelming feeling of emptiness lately, whenever I see Seijuurou-kun, it immediately disappears and I instantly feel better. My heart leaps with excitement when he's with me and my stomach tumbles on itself.

The amount of happiness I feel whenever I'm with Seijuurou-kun is so much that it's enough to light a whole building.

He just makes me so happy and giddy that I can't help but feel my face become hot whenever I think of him. I giggle uncontrollably and my head feels so light.

I just can't help it, y'know. It's Seijuurou-kun.

Akashi Seijuurou. The charming and intelligent guy many people find attractive and admire. The responsible and reliable student that's always on time and never wrong. The presentable and perfect president and captain that leads everyone to victory and success.

How am I not supposed to fall for someone like him?

I guess it's inevitable. He's my only friend and the only person in school I interact with all the time. And maybe it's because I'm too deprived of social relationships with others that I romanticize what I have with Seijuurou-kun.

Maybe I'm not actually in love and I'm just having trouble differentiating romantic and platonic feelings? Maybe I just feel this way because I've never really had friends nor have I ever had a crush on someone?

Maybe this isn't just a silly crush or falling in love? Maybe I'm just stupid?

I don't know. I can't think properly anymore now that all of these came to mind.

One moment I'm so happy about Seijuurou-kun and being with Seijuurou-kun then the next second I'm all gloomy and negative because of thoughts surrounding Seijuurou-kun.

I just can't keep him out of my head anymore.

Maybe I am in love with Seijuurou-kun.

And if I truly am, I'm going to hide it, because I can't risk destroying the only thing we have which is friendship. I can't lose the one thing that gets me up everyday and makes me feel better.

I can't lose Seijuurou-kun.

So I'm going to hide how I feel until this fades. I hope it does.

Because I don't want to ruin my own happiness because of these stupid feelings.

END OF CHAPTER