1 WEEK PASSED.......
FYODOR'S POV:
I woke up with cold sweat, heart raising and my hand raising, i've been having nightmares of y/n leaving me, though when i wake up it's foggy
I calmed myself down, and drank some water
One week passed since that night
Y/n didn't come here since that night
I'm getting worried since i wasn't used to it, usually she would barge in with her cheerful smile
Wait.... Come to think of it.... Does she really feel the same? But she would never lie... Or is it she doesn't want to hurt me
Just as i was overthinking, i can hear some people running and panicking, by their voices and their words, they seem to be nurses
"I guess it must be so serious that, they have to panic like that"
Then a nurse came in with my breakfast, it wasn't the nurse that nursed me
"Here's your breakfast sir"
"Ah, thank you"
____***____
After a few hours....
I'm peacefully looking out the window, the snow right now is very peaceful and beautiful, if Y/n saw this she'll have that wide and calm smile on her face
"Sir it's time for your medication"
"Alright"
But now i have to focus on getting better so that me and y/n can get discharged together
"Oh, aren't you the nurse that took care of Y/n?"
"H-huh? Ah.. Yes, yes i'am"
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing sir"
I got confused by her actions but i just ignored it, and she gave me my medicine
And after the medication, i asked the nurse about y/n
"How is y/n? Is she fine? She hasn't been visiting here this week"
Just as i said that the nurse flinched and almost dropped the medicine she just held
And silence filled the room
"What's wrong?"
"Ms. Y/n has passed"
As soon as she said those 4 words, i froze on my spot, my brain still processing what she just said
I was in a daze
"she passed 10 minutes ago"
"Huh" Was all i could say
"She's in the cold room right now"
And that's when everything sank in, i sprung up from bed
"I need to see her, you're lying she's not dead she even promised me that we'd get discharged together, this is nonsense!"
I got out of the room and marched my way towards y/n's room, i slammed the door open, the nurse tried to stop me but it was no use, nothing can stop me
Nurses fixing her bed and tidying her belongings with a sad face greeted me
"Why are y'all fixing her room... She's not dead yet"
The nurses looked at me, with sad expression
Though i heard the nurse loud and clear, but my mind is in denial
No she isn't dead! That nurse is just playing a prank yes! A prank! Y/n must have planned this she must ben hiding somewhere!
My mind is running in circles, everything is a mess
Then as i was about to speak, a nurse handed me a box
"This Ms. Y/n's things, i get a feeling that i should give this to you" the nurse paused "you know, Ms. Y/n is like our family, we've been taking care of her since a long time, she's beem in this hospital since she was little" the nurse cried
I took the box with shaking hands, i wanna go to y/n
I quietly got out and went to the cold room
When i entered, there was a person with her face covered in white cloth, i slowly opened it and the cold and lifeless y/n greeted me
At that time, for the first time, i felt my knees weak, my whole body shaking, my heart crushed and i couldn't utter a word, i felt an anonymous amount of sadness and devastation
My knees gave in and i kneeled in front of her
I didn't notice that, hot tears have already came out of my eyes
Again and again i begged that this was a dream, i begged that this is just a horrible prank, i begged that this isn't real
But seeing her in front of me lifeless is just... I don't know
I can't bear this feeling anymore
______*****______
After a while....
I sat in my bed in a daze, the box the nurses handed me still in my hands, i looked at it and opened it and i found some drawings of me, some are drawings of snow and there are knitted gloves with a paper in it
"I wanna give Fyodor-kun this i hope he'll like it"
"This is dated the day after that night"
I found a notebook, it looks like a dairy
I opened it and read it
"Today i met a new patient, though he's a bit snobbish! But he looks like he's lonely so i can't leave him like that! I wanna be his friend!"
"Today, i sneaked out of my room and went to his room, it was a bit rough but and Aoi-chan scolded me for it, but it was worth it! He finally told me his name! Yayyy! We're finally friends"
"These past few days, i have been feeling a strange feeling for him, it's a bit weird but i like it"
"OMG SO THIS IS LOVE!"
"Today he called me cute Omg! I'm gonna melt"
"I love his smiles, his face everything about him, i wanna keep him to myself am i crazy?"
"Today, we escaped the hospital and played in the snow! And we danced in the snow too! This is a dream come true!! And he also confessed to me and kissed me! I tried my best to not to melt, but omggg"
"Looks like i can't keep my promise, fyodor, I'm so sorry, i love you"
"Good bye world, and my only world Fyodor, i love you..."
My grip on the notebook tightens as my heart clenched more than it was earlier, and another batch of tears stream down
The snow was falling beautifully and Gracefully, as i cried myself to slumber with the diary in my hand
