Only the lonely hearts know.

Chapter four : hell's here.

Now playing:  top of my school by  Katherine Lynn Rose

the first day of the class, I show up shaking as my hands were held tight by one another. ‘This is it.’ I thought, it’s the last school year before I get out. I have to survive it. I must survive it.

I saw my old friends, wondering if they still would like me or not, so I approach them with shaking thoughts. “An jan na c marth o” Selena said as she makes another spot for me, as I sat besides her I look at some of my old friends again. “Angas marth a, new glasses?” Yanni noticed my new glasses as I shrug and chuckled.

“Time flies, so is my glasses” I answered with a bit of a nervous smile on my face, it’s just starting yet I’m being so nervous. “Hi marth “ Janis said as she smiled, I always liked her, she’s nice. All of them are.

As the arrangement of seats were done , introductions are done. It’s a blur, and I don’t like it. The introductions are fine it’s just that— “You all probably know me, I’m Martha Agnes Barbs. I do art, I like it. I like how it feels, to be free to express myself, my feelings, my anger. Ambitions?, Uh, I’m still uncertain about the future, but isn’t it a good thing? Not even planning things out can meant that you don’t have to hustle yourself, you don’t need to rush, your not in a race, your living.

And I think life itself is full of surprises, so we should all let it do its thing, ‘the element of surprises’. You shouldn’t rush and run to things you could reach when u can while your walking. That’s all” I hate when my mouth is just doing what it wants, saying what it wants.

I can hear people get bored of me and get annoyed, irritated when I speak in English or spoke my mind off, I don’t  know what’s wrong with me. The classmates I have right now is still the same classmates that use to torment my every living day last year, was I thrilled about it? No, I wanted to burn myself alive when I heard the news. “Tama kana marth, ikaw na magaling.” Yanni shouted.

I know she meant well but it doesn’t. I makes me feel worse, I feel like everyone is rolling their eyes in me whenever I speak, maybe I’m a know-it-all and the only people that could understand me is far away from home. The seats were fine, I was besides this guy that I knew since last year, well I knew them all last year, but some are transfers.

My thoughts? I don’t like them, already. I have a gut feeling I would just please and adjust my self to them. And I hate it, the fact that I have to do it  just to socialize with them. I hate it. There were 5 of them: James, Lena, Cathy , Ben and Harley.

I can name them all but that doesn’t change the fact that I would rather move a away from them and never get a conversation or experience life with new people,now lets  go to the nominations of officers, I never liked nominations or authority, and honestly I think it’s a waste of time.

“I nominate Martha as Vice President. “ A voice said as I turn around, it was Cathy. Ah yes, there’s always that one person who thinks I’m so highly but in reality soon enough they would hate me and I would do the same. Maybe she was touched by my constant rambling on the introduction or maybe she’s just that person, either way I hate her.

I didn’t won but I don’t care, I never liked it or intended. We got to meet teachers. Some of them are strict and funny. I like my teachers, they seem fun and trust worthy but I don’t like our history teacher. I don’t how she speaks and shout.

As I walk with my friends in the cafeteria, something caught my eye. The same length of hair, how tall, how smooth his skin is. Shit, it was him. And that ever moment I stopped, for a glimpse, I stopped.

“Okay kalang ?” Nancy said as she looked at me “ah oo, May naala lang” play it cool, observe and sigh. You survived last year that doesn’t make any difference this year so stop it. I said to myself as I look at his direction, he laughs so adorable, I can’t help but to smirk. As I go my way to my friends.

It’s funny, just when everything seems to be normal and gloomy then I saw him, dammit, I’m already blushing.

It was hell but then an angel showed up.

“Twitter post : @marthbars! Posted”

“Just when everything is fine, I saw you. And now I’m ruined.” -marthbarbs.