He grunted as he was thrown roughly into yet another jail cell. He was getting sick and tired of refraining from killing lesser beings, but he had to lay low until further notice. Breaking out of the jail of one of the largest markets in the galaxy shouldn't garner too much attention. It's not his fault these people couldn't mind their own business and allow him to tinker with his Tardis in peace. All he did was steal a few screws... from people's carts causing a few of them to break apart and making merchandise go everywhere. They had backup carts they could grab easily.
He let out a deep sigh as he took in his surroundings. The small cell was damp and slightly smelly. The bed had a small blanket on it that looked like it would give him a disease simply by looking at it. The sun shone through the small bars on the window. As he turned he finally paid attention to the fact that the cell next to his held another person. One with strikingly familiar golden curls.
River Song. The Doctors Wife. The assassin and archeologist. Was right next to him in all her glory. He could touch her if he truly tried. He felt his breath hitch but ignored it. He would not get emotional over seeing the woman again. Yes, they were friends and lovers but he knew that she wouldn't be his. Not really, that role belonged to his oldest adversary.
Many learned that lesson when they found themselves falling for the great Melody Pond. You could have her for a little while and she would love you in turn, but never fully. At least one of her hearts would always belong to the Doctor, and you would have to accept that. He learned that lesson a long time ago. So he shoved down whatever had his hearts beating quickly and sunk back into his comfortable facade.
"Ah if it isn't the dead wife," he said cheekily
"And if it isn't the egomaniac frenemy/lover," she teases back
"Of you or them," the tan man smirked then immediately regretted it
"Touché," she said with a heavy sigh
It was at this point he took notice of the fact that she was slightly hunched over and breathing heavily. Her back was still turned to him so he couldn't gauge the expressions on her face. He knew that if he kept her talking she would eventually reveal her cards.
"Speaking of the obvious elephant in the room," he began, " why aren't you dead exactly?"
"Oh, you know me. You can't keep me anywhere I don't want to be. Not even death," the curly-haired professor joked but then immediately let out a strained whimper.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" He demanded
"I'm in labor Kosch," she replied as she finally turned to face him.
The biggest pregnancy belly he had ever seen was presented to him. The front of her pants was wet from her water. She was letting out air in puffs and her curly hair was sticking to her forehead. She was in obvious distress and pain. Which affected him in a way he would never admit.
"Where the fuck is your husband?" He asked through gritted teeth
"I don't know," she whined as she went through another contraction
"Why don't you, ya know, send one of those messages you always do?" the disheveled psychopath questioned
"Too risky. If it gets sent to the wrong one or a few of them that's a gigantic mess I would have to clean up," she explained
He knew she was right. He found himself wanting to offer to clean it up for her but thought better of it.
"How did you even end up in jail?" He wondered
He had to bite his tongue from giving her a lecture.
"I was just at one of the galactic markets getting some final things for the hospital. That's where one of my old marks saw me and demanded that I be arrested," River said
"Mmm, don't you just hate when that happens," he grumbled
"Ye-," she began but let out a loud yell
"What!?" He questioned frantically
"You need to get us out of here. I am not having my children in a fucking jail!" she barked
"I'm sorry, did you just say children? Multiple?" He asked
"Twins," she said
"You have got to be kidding me! How fertile are you? This makes 6 and 7," he asked incredulously
She laughed a bit. He felt proud of himself for being able to distract her from some of the pain
"Which one did this?" He inquired
"Um, the one with the wavy hair and the pretty Tardis interior. He was, ugh, in America when he regenerated," she panted
"Oooh the really horny one," he laughed
That got a full-blown laugh from her. Much to his secret delight. He continued to distract her as he observed and counted the time between her contractions.
"I need you to scream," he said
She just rolled her eyes at that.
"The morons who decided we were worth the risk to bring in seem mostly human. They would likely be more sympathetic to you," he explained
So she did. She finally let out a bit of the noise she had been holding in. Immediately they heard feet running toward their cells.
"Please help! I think I'm about to give birth," she shrieked
They all stormed her cage and fretted over her. Using their distraction to his advantage he blew a hole in his own cage door and incapacitated the guards.
He picked her up and easily grabbed their belongings which included his Tardis. All the while she clung to him and groaned in pain.
Once they reached his ship he laid her down in his medical room and injected her with a shot used for labor pains. As she nodded off to dream land he decided to ask her a few more questions.
"What are you having? Two little boy psychos or little girl assassins?" He asked
"A boy and a girl," she said with a yawn
"I'm sure you have their names too," he chuckled as he stroked her cheek
"Mmm. Nathan and Hayley," she sighed as she fell into a deep sleep
He watched her for a second in awe of her beauty. As he stalked over to his console he felt the urge to go back and simply observe her, protect her, but he refrained. He still had a tracker on the Doctor's latest companions so he just set off for their location. They seemed to be in a yard surrounded by apartments. He looked out at the cameras and spotted a familiar blonde. He stepped out and walked over to her.
"Wh-?!" She began in confusion and shock'
"Come and get your damned wife. She's about to squeeze out two more of your kids," he all but growled at her.
"Med bay?" She questioned
She sped into action when he confirmed her wife's location.
Her companions, however, continued to look like a group of fish.
He smirked at being able to cause chaos in at least a few people's days even when he wasn't trying.
TBC or not idk this could suck ass
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Complications
RomanceRiver needs help and a lot of it. The two most important people in her life come together to give her exactly what she needs. They may just find exactly what they've been looking for somewhere along the way. River x 13th Doctor x Spy Master fic Spac...
