“What is it?” She’s too focused on me now. I wish she’d look back up. Ella’s always been able to see right through me.
“Nothing,” I reply with a small smile, “I just don’t want to lose you.”
“You’re not going to lose me. If anything, I wish you luck getting rid of me.” I try to laugh with her but it isn’t as easy as it once was, because I know it isn't true. When I look at her, I see what I’ve always seen. The person I love, the person who no matter how they look they always are beautiful to me, the person who’s voice I’m most afraid of forgetting. Only now, I see more than that. The small bruise on her leg she can’t remember getting, her sudden weight loss that’s apparent in her cheeks slowly losing shape, the cold she can’t seem to kick. I’m going to lose her again.
“Do you think we’re soulmates in every universe?”
“I don’t know, maybe.” Yes, every single one. Always.
“What about the universe where I live on the other side of the world than you?”
“I think we’d find each other.” Yes, even that universe.
“I wish I could live in all of them. Then even after we shrivel up like old little ladies we can go somewhere else and start all over.” She turns away from my face to look back up at the night sky as a meteor streaks across the universe. It’s one of those nights where it’s so dark you can see every single star, even the little clouds of stars behind the brightest ones. These are my favorite nights, they remind me that the night isn’t always dark. Sometimes it’s like this, millions of fires burning throughout the infinite blackness, shining down onto us like they burn the way I burn for her.
YOU ARE READING
I'm Going to Lose Her, Again
RomanceRegan fell in love with Ella when they were young, she was lucky to have found such a bright soulmate. But when the world took Ella too soon, Regan decided to spend a lifetime falling in love with different versions of Regan across space and time. ...
