Soldiers of the Stars

Chapter 33: One Disaster at a Time, Please

SACRED MERCY - MESS HALL

(CT-8627) BOB

     It wasn't my fault.

     Sure, I told Shifty to stop talking a big game and prove he knew how to cook. And yeah, I worked up Able Company to torment him until he was a stuttering mess. Eventually, he caved and marched into the kitchen. I dismissed the cooks and soldiers on mess duty and told them we were taking over for clean-up. Just a little white lie, right?

     I'll admit it. I was wrong.

     Shifty began to saute and flip the vegetables like a Volpaian chef at an Andoan grill with a shit-eating grin. Where he learned to cook like this was a mystery to me.

     I leaned a little too hard against the PrepOven to get a closer look and accidentally knocked the oil onto the heating element.

     And whoosh!

     The PrepOven burst into flames.

     Shifty dropped the pan and cursed as he bolted to grab the fire blanket from across the kitchen, but panic set in, and in my brilliant mind, I knew I could act faster. I knew the one thing that could beat fire.

     And spoiler alert: water and grease don't exactly get along.

     I frantically searched for anything to smother the angered flames. The bag of flour looked promising until the kitchen became a snowy battlefield, flour coating every surface, and the fire still flickered beneath the powdery chaos.

     When Shifty returned with the blanket and some additional help, I concluded that I was not the hero here.

     So, maybe it was my fault.