No Matter What (Synacky)

Chapter Nineteen: Brian

I waited impatiently for the day to pass by. All I wanted was to see Zacky again. I had to apologize.

Maybe he never saw that stupid message anyway?

But then I remembered how upset he seemed when he texted me later that day. He obviously saw it.

I had so much anger and sorrow built up in me. Without even considering who was in the house, I screamed at the top of my lungs.

Then I heard footsteps running down the hall and Brent bursted into my room.

"What are you doing? What's wrong?" He asked me. My dad and Suzy weren't home again.

"Get the fuck out!" I yelled at my younger brother.

"Jesus." Brent said under his breath, as he slowly backed out of my room.

My heart ached again. I had hurt so many people that day. People I loved and cared about. The tears began again. I felt sick in the stomach.

I knew I still loved Zacky. I prayed that he still had at least some hope in us. Just, anything. But everything I did just made it worse. I didn't know how to solve anything anymore.

He'll never trust me again.

What if because of me, he'll never trust anyone again?

Everything that was happening was my fault. I had caused it all. Of course, I regretted every bit of it, though.

~*~

I laid on my bed, where I had been the entire day. But now in silence. I had finally calmed down. I turned to the clock and read 1:26 A.M, but as hard as I tried to sleep, I couldn't. I found myself constantly turning over. Kicking the comforter off, then pulling it back over myself, only to kick it off again.

Eventually I slowly drifted into sleep.

~*~

I woke to a warm presence against my body. I turned and smiled at Zacky, who was still asleep. I didn't want to wake him, so I patiently waited. It seemed like I had waited for hours.

I decided that Zacky had gotten enough sleep. (I mean, it was the afternoon already.) I gently shook him, but he didn't wake.

"Zee, wake up." I cooed.

He still did not stir. Then I realized that there was not a slow rise and fall of his chest. Zacky was not breathing.

I panicked, sitting up and crying out, "Zacky, please, no!" I screamed the words, holding his cold hands tightly.

I jolted awake, opening my eyes wide.

Another dream about Zacky?

I was still breathing heavily, terrified.

~*~

I sleepily got into my car, with my guitar in the back seat. As I drove to Matt's house, I thought about the nightmare that I had about Zacky.

What was it supposed to mean?

I asked myself questions like this until I pulled up in front of the vocalist's house.

When I walked into the garage where all of the other guys were, I noticed Zacky immediately. He looked at me for a split second, bit his lip, and turned away.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom." Zacky said quietly, entering Matt's house.

I knew what I had to do, to at least try to make things better between us.

I have to follow him.