No Matter What (Synacky)

Chapter Twenty: Zacky

I couldn't stand to see Brian again. I don't know what happened, but something triggered, and I had to leave the room.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom." I lied, hoping no one noticed.

Well, I did go in the bathroom, shutting the door behing me. But I sank to the floor, unsure of what to do. After seeing Brian again, I realized that I did still have feelings for him.

But I didn't have much trust in him. I was terrified that he would cheat on me, or hurt me like before.

I didn't cry, though, as I sat there. Which surprised me a bit. I still felt the pain from everything that Brian had done.

I thought I heard footsteps outside the door, but then they stopped, and I ignored them. I stood, wondering if I was really ready. Ready to go back into the garage. To see Brian.

I slowly opened the door, my heart sinking and jumping at the same time. Brian stood in front of me.

"We need to talk..." His voice shook, and trailed off. He was clearly nervous.

He stepped into the small bathroom with me, closing the door. I tensed, he was standing too close.

I had a hard time looking into his eyes, but I managed. He appeared calm, yet his eyes showed fear.

"I'm so, so fucking sorry, Zee." I watched as Brian harshly bit his lip. "I never meant to say that about you. I was just so pissed off, and I regret everything."

I didn't know what to say. I opened my mouth, only to close it again. I watched as tears welled in Brian's eyes.

"And I don't love Michelle, Zacky." He paused for a moment. "In fact, I hate her. She ruined us. I can't ever forgive her for that. I know, this is all my fault. I know that I caused all of this. But I'm so sorry."

My heart ached as I watched Brian cry, spilling out apologies over and over again.

"I understand, you probably hate me now." He continued, "I hate myself too. I mean, I'm the reason we aren't together. I'm the reason you probably can't trust anyone. I'm the reason that your father beats you."

These words made my blood run cold. I felt the tears stinging in my own eyes now.

"No, Brian, that's not why-"

"If he wouldn't have found out about us, then he wouldn't have hurt you." Brian cut me off.

"He's always been abusive like this. It's not your fault." I confessed.

"But it's my fault that he hurt you that night." Brian choked the words out.

"He just looks for excuses to hurt me." I knew I had to say more, but I didn't know what.

Brian ignored me, "And to make it even worse, you had to walk in to me and Michelle?" Brian sighed, still in tears. "I'm just, I'm so sorry."

"Brian..." His name is all I managed to say.

"I know, you don't trust me, Zacky. But I want you to. I need you to." He was practically pleading at this point. "I need you to forgive me. I never meant for any of this to happen."

I couldn't just, after all Brian had said, not forgive him.

He confessed to me, and now he is begging for my forgiveness and trust. I have to.

I realized that I really did still love Brian.

"Okay." I tried to stay calm as I spoke the words. "I mean, I can forgive you." I heard Brian let out a sigh of relief, though he still seemed tense.

If I make this choice now, later on we will be able to forget that any of this ever happened.

And I knew I had to.

I stepped closer to Brian and took his hands, holding them tightly.

Then, I kissed him.